Non-Metal Metal Things

Things You Might Have Missed 2014: He Is Legend – Heavy Fruit

By Dr. Fisting on November 1, 2014 in 2014, American Metal, Metalcore, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Sludge, Things You Might Have Missed 2014, Tragic Hero, Alternative Metal, Hard Rock, Metalcore, Not Metal, Sludge Metal, Stoner Metal, Stoner Rock, 9 comments

“Once upon a time, in the days of MySpace, there was a band called He Is Legend. They had the misfortune of association with the mid-2000’s metalcore scene, and worse yet, they had a long way to go in the songwriting department. Over time they went through awkward growth spurts, thankfully ditching their core trappings, but struggling with finding their own style.” Mr. Fisting rings in the holiday season with the very first of our “Things You Might Have Missed” recommendations, and this time, it’s all about the fruit!

Obake – Mutations Review

By Roquentin on October 29, 2014 in 2014, 4.0, Avante Garde, Death Metal, Grind, Italian Metal, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Rare Noise Records, Reviews, Death Metal, Non-metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Sludge Metal, 6 comments

“Even a quick glance over Obake’s international lineup will tell you that this is not your run-of-the-mill extreme metal band. Nope, the musicians involved in this band are not metal musicians in the traditional sense.” Since we started the day with non-metal weirdness, let’s continue the trend with Obake.

Kontrust – Explositive Review

By El Cuervo on October 29, 2014 in 2014, Austrian Metal, Napalm Records, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Reviews, Uncategorized, Hard Rock, Non-metal Metal Things, Not Metal, 11 comments

“Bestowing their bonkers brand of crossover hard rock on the bewildered brains of the masses, Kontrust boldly bounces back with Explositive.” Happy Metal Guy is gone, but Kontrust remains….

Earth – Primitive and Deadly Review

By Roquentin on September 4, 2014 in 2014, American Metal, Drone, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Reviews, Southern Lord, Drone, Non-metal Metal Things, Not Metal, 4 comments

“Wait, wait, Earth? Dylan Carlson’s music child that went from pioneering drone doom to dabbling in experimental psychedelic-country-drone-whatnot? How long has it been since they released anything even remotely attached to metal? Nine years, eighteen years? Surely this review has no place here. This is, after all, Angry METAL Guy: trve, kvlt, ov the underground and all that.” Are you shocked to see an Earth review here? We are too.

Anathema – Distant Satellites Review

By Noctus on June 19, 2014 in 2014, Kscope, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Reviews, Not Metal, 24 comments

“The transformation of Anathema has always been enigmatic to many metalheads. The obligatory rewind to their early 90’s pioneering death/doom records almost seems redundant now that this is their tenth album without a hint of metal in it. Any hope of them making a return to their roots is about as worthwhile as waiting for the new Kovenant album (why anyone wants it I cannot fathom). But the key difference here is that their abandonment of metal did them nothing but good…” Is the scarcity of precious metal still working out for these sullen fellows?

Body Hammer- II: The Mechanism of Night Review

By Kronos on June 9, 2014 in 2014, American Metal, Avante Garde, Grind, Non-Metal Metal Things, Reviews, The Path Less Traveled Records, Avante Garde, Grind, Non-metal Metal Things, 3 comments

“I chew through a lot of mediocre music on a daily basis, washing grains of sound across the dark pan of my eardrums in search of those glistening nuggets of aural excellence. Those are few and far between, meaning that most days I return to my bed without treasure to appease my lust for gold. But every once in a while, an unexpected element drifts down into my staked out piece of streambed. That’s where things get interesting. As much as I love great finds, there’s something to be said for the merit of pure novelty. When something unprecedented washes into my hands, that makes it all worth it.” This is a weird one, folks.

Pet Slimmers of the Year – Fragments of Uniforms Review

By Madam X on March 29, 2014 in 2014, Candlelight, English Metal, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Post-Rock, Reviews, Post-Metal, 3 comments

“So the Process Church of the Final Judgement wasn’t really your thing? Don’t slit your wrists over it, cults aren’t for everybody. Candlelight Records recently took a walk on the wild side adding a band that doesn’t run with their usual black metal or even their melodic death metal circles. Their band name is absurd, meaningless and annoying to the point where Nothing actually may be the better option, and to say that it had me tearing my hair out in chunks is an understatement. Pet Slimmers of the Year… Have you tried to Google this? No dammit, I’m not putting my feline on a diet, round is a shape too!” Yep, that’s the worst band name of all time. But, is the music any good? Madam X has opinions.

Miracle Master – Tattooed Woman Review

By Madam X on February 28, 2014 in 2014, German Metal, GoldenCore Records, Heavy Metal, Non-Metal Metal Things, Reviews, ZYX Music, Hard Rock, 3 comments

“Hot on the heels of Steel Druhm’s review of Crematory’s Antiserum and sticking with zee Germans, we have Miracle Master’s Tattooed Woman, which delivers an unhealthily large dose of Dio worship, a smattering of modern American hard rockers Shinedown and the growlings of Monster Magnet.” Madam X loves her catchy hard rock, but can she make it through a whole review without Jorn nuthugging? Take your bets now!

Things You Might Have Missed 2013: Ulver – Messe I.X–VI.X

By Alex Franquelli on December 17, 2013 in 2013, Avante Garde, Neuropa Records, Non-Metal Metal Things, Norwegian Metal, Things You Might Have Missed 2013, 16 comments

The good people reading this blog will certainly not be offended if I start this review with a personal note. The problem is that, sometimes, I feel that in order to be able to express an individual judgement on an album, you have to try and see things from a different perspective. The world is full of people in bad faith and scribes with no taste in music, but problems arise when the two categories merge and ignorant self-assuredness is given a blank page and a word processor. With this in mind, the point of view on the opposite side of the spectrum is undoubtedly the most interesting and challenging one, so for this reason, and for this reason only, Messe I.X–VI.X is an incredibly arrogant and presumptuously conceited piece of contemporary music.

Poison Idea – Kings Of Punk Review

By Dr. Fisting on November 14, 2013 in 2013, 3.0, Hardcore, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Rating, Releases, Southern Lord, Hardcore, 3 comments

The phrase “underrated” gets thrown around a lot, but it’s a pretty apt description for legendary Oregon punks Poison Idea. These guys somehow never got the respect or notoriety that their contemporaries did, despite having their songs covered by everyone from Turbonegro to Machine Head to Pantera (yes, that fucking song from The Crow). Led by larger-than-life frontman Jerry A. and equally huge guitarist Pig Champion, PI were a force to be reckoned with, both musically and physically (legend has it that the band weighed over 1,300 lbs. at the height of their substance abuse days). Here’s a weighty slice of classic hardcore for you, re-released with many bells unt whistles. Mr. Fisting rubs the belly and tells us what kind of sounds to expect from this seminal punk crew.