“Well, 2015 is over and… it was terrible. But rather than bore you with the details, I’ll sum it up like so: rah, rah, rah, I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate everyone and just want to listen to Abstracter in an air-conditioned room while some guy in a Chester the Cheetah costume gives me a back massage. Fortunately, St. Louis black-sludge trio The Lion’s Daughter have produced the perfect soundtrack to my slacker misanthropy with their sophomore LP, Existence Is Horror.” Muppet Cheetah back rubs are overrated.
Post-metal
Things You Might Have Missed 2015: Tau Cross – Tau Cross
“Supergroups make me weary. For every Down, Vhöl, or Borknagar that comes our way, we get subjected to bands that don’t vary much (if at all) from their more established main groups. The prospect of checking out yet another supergroup doesn’t exactly get my blood pumping, no matter how highly acclaimed that group is promoted by the critics and fans.” The prospects are definitely improving!
Intronaut – The Direction of Last Things Review
“Intronaut is one of those bands that I always meant to get around to but never did. With lineups that include(d) members from bands such as Impaled, Exhumed, and Mouth of the Architect, most people know Intronaut even if they have never actually heard them.” By crow, it may be time to hear the Nauts.
Myrkur at The Underworld, London Live Review
“Amalie Bruun has had mixed reviews in her short stint making music in the metal community. Garnering critical acclaim from the organic, free-range, caramel mocha chocamericano-flecked Macbooks toted by the illustrious writers at Pitchfork, she has been rejected quite forcefully by those who are truly metal with vastly superior opinions.” To fully examine Myrkur’s kvlt bona fides, we deployed the ground troops.
Abigail Williams – The Accuser Review
“Few bands have ever achieved the feat of satisfying their loyal fan-base one day and pissing them off the next. And all within a single decade. Having never been a fan of the early days of Abigail Williams, I avoided the apparent “hardship” many fans went through come the release of 2012’s Becoming.” We hardly even knew ya, Ms. Williams.
So Hideous – Laurestine Review
“So Hideous occupy an interesting niche for me. As a post-black group with orchestral flourishes, their sound is unique enough to stand out in an over-saturated genre, but it’s never been compelling enough to make me a fan.” New York City continues to pump out some interesting variants on black metal. Must be something in the hot dogs.
He Whose Ox Is Gored – The Camel, The Lion, The Child Review
“I have a penchant for picking bands based on their names alone lately. For the most part, doing so has yielded some pretty damn good results. So when the Grymm Grab Bag™ belched forth The Camel, The Lion, The Child, the debut full-length from Seattle’s He Whose Ox Is Gored, you can say that I was a bit nervous. Long band name? Check. Nietzsche-inspired album title? Check. The sound labeled as “progressive doom”? Check.” Progressive doom is progressive… and doomy.
Hanging Garden – Blackout Whiteout Review
“As far as metal goes, Finland is renowned for producing some of the most morose, depressing bands to ever drag themselves out of bed and into a recording studio (Children of Bodom notwithstanding). Among their ranks is the heavy and atmospheric Hanging Garden.” Sad boys are often sad.
Kaiserreich – Cuore Nero Review
“Black metal seems to, borrowing an excellent phrase from Erving Goffman, have been “permanently Wittgensteined” into meaning anything with screeching vocals, tremolo melodies, and blast beats that sounds a little chilly. The indie-black-gaze of Deafheaven, whatever Liturgy is, the poppy trappings of Alcest-core, and a lot of other nonsense seem to land under the umbrella that some of the best releases of the 90s and arguably metal in general built.” Join Diabolus as he tries to prove that black metal is rich and diverse.
Publicist UK – Forgive Yourself Review
“If the name Publicist UK may seem unfamiliar, the band members themselves should certainly ring a bell. This project includes several metal veterans, including guitarist David Obuchowski (Goes Cube), bassist Brett Bamberger (Revocation), and drummer Dave Witte (Municipal Waste/every band ever). At this point, you’re probably thinking that this will be an incredible thrash album.” To thrash or not to thrash, that is the question.