“At 40 years young, Judas Priest’s sophomore record Sad Wings Of Destiny is about as Olde as Yer Metal can get. As metal music is now a complex, deliberately inaccessible web of micro-genres, I can see how the average metalhead today might have a hard time relating to a record like Sad Wings. And though it shames me to say it, it took me a while myself.” This here is a true classic.
“Having had the opportunity to review some doom/sludge releases lately that focus on preserving the genre’s mood without over-exaggerating the delivery, I’ve come to appreciate those bands that can deliver hypnotizing, doomy atmospheres in simplistic, down-to-earth ways.” Simple doom over fancy doom!
“With a band name like Victorian Whore Dogs, “be serious” is, most likely, not a common phrase for these UK sludge metallers. This becomes undeniable when you discover VWD song titles like “Michael Bay’s Transformers Are the Best Transformers” (from 2013’s Fetch EP) and the ridiculous song about Conan the Barbarian’s sexual endeavors (“Kromdrom,” from 2015’s Hobo Chic EP).” Who let the dogs whore?
Moonsorrow is an enigmatic band whose fame and status in metal defy expectations. A band whose songs tend toward the 15-minute mark, who sings in Finnish, and who obeys no label’s release schedule is not a band that I would expect to be releasing one of the most anticipated albums of 2016. The first album in 5 years—follow-up to Varjoina kuljemme kuolleiden maasa (henceforth Vkkm because lol), which was my Record o’ the Year in 2011—Jumalten aika is a 5 track, 67 minute journey down the path cut by Moonsorrow in the years since their first releases. And it’s a simultaneously difficult and comfortable release from one of Finland’s premiere acts.
“The brilliant melodies of Iron Maiden and Metallica opened the door to metal for a young Diabolus. But it was the timeless riffs, redline intensity, and searing speed of Reign in Blood that pushed me through it. In the back of my mind, the dragon of Reign in Blood’s speed is always being chased because of this. The viciousness of Slayer’s finest (half) hour complemented its speed, and even today it sounds an order of magnitude faster than your garden variety blast-happy tech-death typewriter-core band.” I hear typewriter-core is the new post-black.
“There really isn’t much more to be said about Ragnarok that hasn’t already been said by our beloved Noctus and Madam X (and the rest of the black metal community). Ragnarok, like Urgehal, are one of the most underrated black metal acts on the planet. Perhaps it’s due to their consistency and unwillingness to fix-what-isn’t-broken that’s kept them from reaching black metal stardom (if “stardom” is actually attainable in this genre).” Consistency is the hobgoblin of great black metal (because it requires hobgoblins).
“The most lauded element of Ohio gorehounds Embalmer’s past work was the deranged voice of former vocalist Rick Fleming. As cited on their Wikipedia page (clearly written by someone close to if not in the band), “In 2013 the band parted ways with vocalist Rick Fleming, who subsequently robbed the band of the remainder of the band fund before going into hiding.” Under the “Former members” section he is listed as “Dick Fleming.” Not likely a typo. Ahhhh, Wikirevenge!” Wikirevenge is a dish best served with embalming fluid and sauteed tomatoes.
“Every once in awhile it’s fun to shuffle through the promo pile in search of an album that explores the good ole days of rock—and by “good ole days,” I mean old-man Steely D days. Even when it’s done shittily, the outcome triggers special memories of sitting around listening to the godfathers of heavy metal and hard rock on shiny black “frisbees” (as we use to call them).” The olde ways are back in vogue (not vogueing though).
“After all these years, AMG knows me far too well. If there’s something he wants done, he knows exactly what to say in order to manipulate my Heavy Metal Emotions®. And in this case, that would be “hey man, I found this band that sounds like a prog version of John Bush-era Anthrax.” The band in question is Gracepoint, an independent act based out of Minnesota.” Is grace in the hand better than 2 in the Bush?
“Ten seconds into Future Cancer, I was damned sure of one thing; this band is from Long Island. Combine the irreverence of the name Piss Vortex with their progressive spin on, of course, grindcore, and you’ve got one grimy, disgusting EP dredged up from the alligator infested sewers of… Copenhagen?” Kronos is great with taxonomy, but not so much with geography.
