“I’ve said it before and now I’ll say it again: there are only a few bands I know won’t disappoint me and Brainstorm is the vanguard of those few precious dependables. Sure, some albums are more massive than others, but they’ve yet to let me down with a weak or uninspired effort.” Steel loves his dependables and his Depends.
I’ve been in the mood for some killer stoner rock as of late. Ever since the almighty Kyuss went belly-up in 1995, I’ve been on the lookout for some killer jams to race cars, drink a few IPAs, and clean some demons to. The deserts of California were a ripe breeding ground for desert jams, and Kyuss’s disbanding left a gaping hole. Roaring down the highway in a souped-up, cherry-red Camaro comes Norway’s El Caco, who bring with them their seventh full-length, imaginatively entitled 7. Do they have what it takes to become the new stoner rock kings, or should you just hush them all away?
“The Raleigh-based power trio of Suppressive Fire plays a brand of fun and slightly blackened thrash that skips the pizza entirely. Culling mainly from the “devil metal” of Nunslaughter, Nocturnal Breed’s Fields of Rot, and producer Joel Grind’s main outfit Toxic Holocaust, this is a modern take on thrash, infused with more extreme elements but still being rooted in the ethos of the harsher end of the classics spectrum.” So, can this debut differentiate itself in the early days of 2016?
“California’s own technical thrash metallers, are a band who does everything I love in metal. They write fast songs, packed with frantic energy and rarely pushing the 5 minute mark. Their guitar work is tight, melodic, and classically influenced. Ride Forth, which drops on January 8th from Prosthetic Records, is an album that goes from zero to 90 in a split second and never drops in intensity as it pounds through nine tracks of palm-muted, staccato licks, arpeggios galore, and non-stop double-kick ass kicking (all while doing it for the Horde!).” Well, that sounds promising. But everyone knows that things are never this simple with Angry Metal Guy.
“Ever a purveyor of mild understatement, Encyclopaedia Metallum describes Venomous Concept as the “side project of several notable metal musicians.” Their lineup reads like a fucking who’s who of grindcore royalty and it’s one of Shane Embury’s fifteen gazillion side-projects.” Grind Royalty would be good band name too.
“Yeah, I’m pretty peeved about that title, too. In a Car Bomb-esque display of eccentricism, the experimental metal group that Dr. Fisting calls “the loudest band I’ve ever heard in a club” have offered unto the world a palindromically-titled album that’s a darling of search engine optimization but a demon for memorability.” Kronos drops some scientific knowledge on all y’all. Is 1010II0101 more memorable than its title?
“As 2016 draws its very first breaths, it’s clear retro metal is here to stay. With throwback acts like Night Flight Orchestra appearing in various AMG year end lists and the utter debacle of White Wizzard scoring a coveted 5.0, the battle is all but over and we must accept our olde timey overlords’ authoritah.” Submit to your fate and get in the Cauldron.
“The arrival of 2016 finds the tides turning for Varg, now signed to Napalm Records. Das Ende aller Lügen (The End of All Lies) is here and with it Varg presents their latest direction—one encouraging impulsivity, unpredictability, revelry and brute force. All packaged in nice bright red war paint.” Madam X is here to tell you about the creepy German dogs she dragged home. Who’s not interested in that?
“Well, 2015 is over and… it was terrible. But rather than bore you with the details, I’ll sum it up like so: rah, rah, rah, I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate everyone and just want to listen to Abstracter in an air-conditioned room while some guy in a Chester the Cheetah costume gives me a back massage. Fortunately, St. Louis black-sludge trio The Lion’s Daughter have produced the perfect soundtrack to my slacker misanthropy with their sophomore LP, Existence Is Horror.” Muppet Cheetah back rubs are overrated.
“Thirty years past its prime, Gravewürm’s songwriting and musical delivery continues to leave a lot to be desired, and after twenty-five years of existence and ten full-lengths, I ask myself the same question before every Gravewürm release: does Gravewürm have anything new—anything at all—to offer in their newest output?” That’s a really good question.
