1.5

Yayla – Nihaihayat Review

Yayla – Nihaihayat Review

By Happy Metal Guy on February 26, 2013 in 1.5, 2013, Black Metal, Reviews, Turkish Metal, Black Metal, 11 comments

“Yay! Lament all you want, but your pricey earphones are going to be under-utilized by yet another primitive-sounding, one-man black metal project (why the heaven do these anti-social cavemen never go away? [Because FUCK YOU that’s why! – AMG]). Happy Metal Guy loves seeing people’s expensive listening gear go to waste on these pesky black metal records, but due to his nonexistent contract with Angry Metal Guy, he’s not really obliged to provide some kind of justification for why people ought to avoid this record.” By giving away that he already hates this record Happy Metal Guy has killed any possible suspense we could have built by blurbing him. I guess the best part of all of this was finding out that there’s a record company called Merdumgiriz Productions. Say that one five times fast.

Morbid Angel – Illud Divinum Insanus Review

Morbid Angel – Illud Divinum Insanus Review

By Angry Metal Guy on June 4, 2011 in 1.0, 1.5, 2011, American Metal, Death Metal, Reviews, Season of Mist, Death Metal, 49 comments

Morbid Angel is elite death metal and has been the standard for as long as I can remember. They have defined death metal for listeners of the genre for decades, influenced all of the great bands to come out of the genre after them, and have been away for 8 long years. 2003’s Heretic was not the best record they’d ever produced, this is most certainly true. But there was no reason not to believe after hearing “Nevermore,” the single that was released ahead of time, that the return of David Vincent would usher in the kind of catastrophic reaction that has ensued. I make it my business to never read reviews of any record before I write my own review, hell, I haven’t even read Steel Druhm’s (which is below this one) of this record. But it was hard to miss the fury, anger and disappointment that has been floating around the ether. I had to ask myself “could it really possibly be this bad?” You see, I’m a stalwart defender of some pretty hated records (most notably Iron Maiden’s The X Factor and Mayhem’s Grand Declaration of War), and I try to listen to every record with a clean slate. And I attempted to do so with this record, as well.

Insense – Burn in Beautiful Fire Review

Insense – Burn in Beautiful Fire Review

By Steel Druhm on April 6, 2011 in 1.5, 2011, Indie Recordings, Metalcore, Norwegian Metal, Reviews, Metalcore, 19 comments

Reviewing albums like this is how I pay my debt for getting the Amon Amarth review. My inbox will become a wasteland of the very worst metalcore, deathcore, screamocore and whatever soulless rubbish Angry Metal Guy can hurl at me in an Oden-like rage (thank God I didn’t ask for the upcoming Amorphis review). As part of my community service, I’m here to enlighten you about Norway’s Insense and their fourth album Burn in Beautiful Fire. If you never heard of them, these guys play third-rate metalcore with all the emo/screamo pap that goes along with that craptastic style. Their bio says Anders Friden of In Flames thinks they’re the next big thing to hit the scene. Well, if this is what Anders thinks is good music, that explains why In Flames has sucked so thoroughly since Colony. All apologies and respect to Mr. Friden but even by metalcore standards this is super shitty and irritating. It’s boring, annoyingly unoriginal and painfully below average in every aspect. I even hate the freaking album cover.

The Haunted – Unseen Review

The Haunted – Unseen Review

By Steel Druhm on March 15, 2011 in 1.5, 2011, Avante Garde, Century Media, Metalcore, Progressive Metal, Reviews, Swedish Metal, Metalcore, Thrash Metal, 33 comments

I’m sure most know the history of The Haunted and how they formed from the ashes of the legendary At The Gates. Despite my love for At The Gates, I never fully understood the stellar press and support The Haunted received and always felt they were one of the most overrated bands on the planet. Eventually they started to drift toward a more metalcore style and I lost the limited interest I had in them. Now they’re back with album seven Unseen and they’ve left their thrash days in the dust, probably for good. Instead, they deliver a strange, directionless mess of experimentation, emo angst, nu-metal and alt-rock. It’s clear they’re writing only for themselves and could care less what their fans expect or hope for at this point. While that’s admirable from an artistic perspective, when the results are this tedious and uninspiring, it’s both tragic and cringe-inducing. No matter how brave and creative they want to be, at the end of the day they should still be striving to write good music and they seem to have forgotten that here.

Rabbits – Lower Forms Review

Rabbits – Lower Forms Review

By Angry Metal Guy on February 15, 2011 in 1.5, 2011, American Metal, Relapse, Reviews, Sludge, Hardcore, Punk, Sludge, 3 comments

OK. So. Let me preface this by saying that I’m not a huge fan of anything Rabbits is defined as. I don’t really like hardcore and haven’t liked it since I was in high school. And even then I only flirted with the genre and never really got into it. Second, I listen to a lot of music. I get new music every day and I hear new shit all the time. I try to be pretty open minded, but sometimes I just don’t like shit. And I really, really, really don’t like Rabbits – Lower Forms. I’m sure these guys are OK with that, though, because that’s the point of being counter cultural.

Lazarus A.D. – Black Rivers Flow Review

Lazarus A.D. – Black Rivers Flow Review

By Steel Druhm on January 28, 2011 in 1.5, 2011, American Metal, Heavy Metal, Metal Blade, Reviews, Thrash Metal, Metalcore, Thrash Metal, 6 comments

There are plenty of myths that sane folks know to be false like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and honest politicians. However, one should never count the sophomore slump among those fairy tales and urban legends, for it is very real and very painful to behold. Exhibit A for 2011 is Lazarus A.D. who had a decent if not remarkable debut with 2009’s The Onslaught. Many seemed to lump them in with the retro-thrash revival and while there was some Exodus aping to be sure, they always sounded more metalcore-ish to my ears. Although I hate metalcore like I hate taxes, there was enough aggression, energy and nods to the old school throughout The Onslaught to make it semi-palatable and I didn’t totally hate it. Well, there is simply no digesting their second platter Black Rivers Flow, as Lazarus A.D. have firmly embraced their inner mall kid and all things Shadow’s Fall and the result is a veritable black river of crappy, overused grooves, tough guy posturing and general mediocrity.