“Some days, identifying influences is the worst part of this job. Reference points flutter atop tongue tips, tantalizingly close but ever out of reach. Vinsta provides no such difficulty. This Christian Höll (Outlawed) solo project gins up a tried-and-true formula for its debut: two parts Opeth, one part Anything Else, stir ’til frothing and mustachioed. The genre of the day is folk, but Vinsta Wiads ends up heavy on the former, light on the latter.” Heavy Opeth sounds good, right?
“When it comes to prog-power, Anubis Gate has been the first name in my Rolodex ever since 2005s A Perfect Forever found its way to my iron ears. Later albums like Andromeda Unchained and The Detached essentially wrote the book on how progressive power metal should sound, and I have an unhealthy fixation on both those slick platters of melodic metal. After hearing rumors the new album would be a departure for the band, I had a nagging feeling that a great love affair might be headed for the rocks. After a 3 year wait, Covered in Black does indeed find the band in a different place musically and mentally.” Storm at the gate.
“Seeing the number of debuts and sophomore albums in our promo bin can be a little depressing. It seems to suggest most bands don’t last beyond the early stages. Maybe these young bands are ripped apart over squabbles about the musical direction, or bickering over how to divide the piles of money and groupies, or simply life happening and leaving no room for 9 months of touring per year. Not so for The Quill, a Swedish ‘heavy rock’ group that has been active since 1990 and now have Born From Fire, their 8th album, loaded into the trebuchet.” Flowing prose or writer’s block?
“2017 finds Epica as they have ever been (and essentially as they were in 2016 because it’s been eleven fucking months): well-oiled and fun, but still prone to excess and struggling to engender their music with a sense of purpose. A thirty-minute time limit should rein in the former, can a lithe bodice and some deft editing take care of the rest?” In space, no one can hear your bombast.
“If there was ever a band that has truly come full-circle with their music, Paradise Lost would be it. From atonal death/doom metal to Gothic metal to the full plunge into Depeche Mode-esque electronica before returning in sequential order, the British doom band proved to capably transform with each release, and yet still sound unmistakably like Paradise Lost.” Head of snakes, feet of lead.
“Tantalizingly labeled as being a grind-drone hybrid, Morbid Evils — a side project of Rotten Sound vocalist and guitarist Keijo Niinimaa — doesn’t play by the rules. That’s not to say that the feelings these two extreme sub-genres stir up aren’t present. The suffocating and oppressive atmospherics found both in the gargantuan monotone sound of drone and the stifling chaos of grindcore are an ever-present force here, shifting with the force of planet sized icebergs. The name of the game is oppression and the aim of the game is to hammer the brain into a pulp.” Morbid and evil is no way to go through life, son.
“My summer quest for scrumptious retro metal is almost at an end. It has taken me far and wide, usually with poor, and at best middling, results. It has been a quest of dissatisfaction, to the point where I will soon be turning my nose at any retro promo that is pushed under my prison door at AMG Headquarters. My last kick at the cat will be the latest from this group of miscreants who call themselves Dead Lord.” The mind is a terrible thing to taste.
“OK, no stories this time. I don’t want to cause anyone to walk away from an album they might actually enjoy. Instead, I’ll just be blunt and boring. I’ll compress reviews into simple phrases like “album of the year” or “this isn’t brutal enough and you’re all pussies for liking it.” I guess 700 words is a waste of time for some and I should just force-feed shitty clickbaiting one-liners to you like a CNN ticker tape. I guess I could do that. Or… I could say fuck that and hammer out another lengthy piece proclaiming my love for King Diamond and Mercyful Fate. Yep, I think I’ll do that.” King Clickbait strikes again.
“From the slightly out of focus and over-exposed band photos to the chrome plated logo that wouldn’t be out of place adorning the packaging of a bootleg Thundercats toy, Vulture have gone to great lengths to make it seem like they’ve been around for decades. Even the (rather excellent) album art has been carefully rendered to deceive, with faint nicks and scratches baked in to mimic a record that’s been manhandled and left in a crate for aeons.” Faux-olde.
“Cthulhu rises from the depths. Seawater cascades in waterfalls down its body; its colossal form dwarfs a nearby castle, a monument to mankind’s delusions of superiority as if it were some child’s plaything. The logo in the top left reads “Crafteon,” a nod to Lovecraftian[1. Get it? Huh? Do ya?] fiction, complete with dangling tentacles. Sure, this album’s exterior presentation pretty much screams “Eldritch bait,” but you know what? This is my 50th review for AMG, and I feel like indulging my base impulses in celebration.” Celebrate with Cthulhu!
