No, YOU’RE late!
Aug19
Agenda – Apocalyptic Wasteland Blues Review
“Crust is the only category of punk that’s ever successfully lured me into its slime-stained grip, and that isn’t just because it’s a close cousin of metal. I find comfort in its narrow scope; the reliance on d-beat, drunken harsh vocals, and melodic chord progressions played in ceaseless triplets make for beautifully simple and reliably satisfying tropes. Listening to any new crust album is like a visit from an old friend, except that friend is every crust act to ever exist, and they all smell equally.” Stench agendas.
Geistaz’ika – Trolddomssejd I Skovens Dybe Kedel Review
“Denmark. It’s one of those places oft-overlooked, by me at least. If I think of Scandinavia, Norway and Sweden immediately come to mind, belatedly followed by Finland — which I’m reasonably sure is not actually part of Scandinavia — and only then, Denmark. Similarly, when I think of metal, and black metal, in particular, the same countries come to mind, probably in the same order. Denmark just isn’t really on my geographic or musical radar. I realize this will be deeply offensive to any Danish readers but I’m British and we currently specialize in offending other Europeans by the disparaging way we talk about them and their countries.” Dis-Danes.
Crimson Moon – Mors Vincit Omnia Review
“Crimson Moon originated as a single-man black metal project in 1994, the creation of Scorpios Adroctonus. In 1998, he moved from America to Germany and expanded the project. But the output of Crimson Moon has been sparse, with only three albums since it was formed. The last was 2016’s Oneironaut, which impressed many (including our own Al Kikuras) with its expansive, but occasionally excessive, approach. Now the band is back with Mors Vincit Omnia (Death Conquers All) in, by their standards, record time. Is that occult itch about to be scratched?” Institutional blasphemy.
Keys of Orthanc – A Battle In The Dark Lands of The Eye… Review
“Given the right formula, the right ingredients, and the right opportunity, metal — music in general, but metal for our purposes — can be the gateway into new worlds. Using metal as a means for escapism is both wonderfully cathartic and cathartically wonderful. And I don’t mean that in the generic Nightwish-esque ‘how about that wanderlust, eh?’ kind of way. I mean when metal grabs you by the throat, drags you across the threshold and laughs mercilessly when you try to explain that one does not simply walk into Mordor. At least, that’s what Keys of Orthanc are doing here.” Eye came, Eye saw.
Synteleia – Ending of the Unknown Path Review
“In recent years Greek black metal has become one of my favorite strains of the genre. To me, the scene excels because it rejects rote riffing and instead embraces a style that’s at once militant, melodic, and mystical. The Greek sound has existed for a while and often the bands that embody it are either older acts (Rotting Christ, Varathron) or have scene veterans in their ranks (Funeral Storm). In this regard, Synteleia are an anomaly.” Greek freaks.
Northern Genocide – Genesis vol. 666 Review
“Industrial metal hasn’t had a great run as of late. The few I have reviewed in my three-year tenure at AMG did not fare well. In fact, the only good industrial metal I have heard in that time was the new Rammstein earlier this year, meaning the underground has delivered exactly zilch. Of course, I may have simply missed a whopper, but fact remains that most bands touting the term seem to use it as an excuse to blow out the speakers with horrendous production and/or use it as an ersatz term for metalcore or nu-metal. Maybe the debut from upstarts Northern Genocide can make a difference.” The Devil’s factory.
Tenebrae In Perpetuum – Anorexia Obscura Review
“Black metal bands love to talk about how their take on the genre is the coldest, the harshest, the scariest, the blackest black metal that ever blacked. More often than not, all that talk of evil scariness is just braggadocio. Little variation separates one icy tremolo from another, and if you’ve seen one skinny corpse painted croaker, you’ve pretty much seen them all. That guy contorting his body into tortured positions, pulling at his face and rolling his eyes back while rasping about the annihilation of the psyche probably winds down backstage with a cucumber water and Candy Crush. Italian band Tenebrae In Perpetuum on the other hand might just be on to something sinister.” Fear the mind.
Witch Vomit – Buried Deep in a Bottomless Grave Review
“The other day, I was sitting at the kid’s n00b’s lunch table and about to close a deal trading away my Twinkie for Carcharodon‘s bland, British pastry, when Mark Z. walked in like the cool big kid he is and slammed a promo on the counter. ‘Hey, n00bs. Here’s Witch Vomit if you want it. I’m doing something else.’ He promptly picked up another promo with ‘vomit’ in the name and walked away. I tried to act cool, seeing if anyone else was as excited as I was, but when the bell rang, all of my fellow n00bs got up and headed towards Dr. Grier‘s 5th-period class, ‘How to Avoid Dismemberment.'” Harridans ov hurl.
Essence of Datum – Spellcrying Machine Review
“Instrumental metal has been a difficult branch for me to get into. A big part of why I got into metal is due to the wild dynamics offered by a human voice (and in one particular case, a coffee grinder). But there are always exceptions to the rule that eventually break the rule entirely. In my case, the first band to pop my “vocals or bust” bubble was Nightwish, whose instrumental-only rendition of Dark Passion Play is so compelling I ended up preferring it over the standard edition. Then I discovered Sleep Terror, a fantastic instrumental tech-death/surf/funk band you all owe it to yourselves to investigate. From there I discovered Echopraxia, a ghost/supernatural themed instrumental metal act, and now I’ve stumbled upon Essence of Datum, an instrumental melodic prog-death couplet from Minsk.” Voices don’t carry.
