Belgian Metal

Akolyth – Akolyth Review

Akolyth – Akolyth Review

“I can tell you right now: Akolyth’s self-titled debut is not the standard Muppet order. Blacker than a collapsed sun’s anus, and twice as heavy and half as clean, Akolyth is pvre obsidian carnage of the kvltest order, a raw black nightmare as far removed from my gaze-y gaze as possible.” Black Friday.

Bear – Propaganda Review

Bear – Propaganda Review

“How much good groove metal have we even heard in the last decade? Unto the Locust was, in my opinion, Machine Head’s last good album, and that’s about where it ends for me. Groove-influenced bands like The Haunted have worked much better than bands that use it as its core. Belgian quartet Bear seek to subvert that formula by stapling several genres to its creamy groove center.” Grizzly grooves.

Slaughter Messiah – Cursed to the Pyre Review

Slaughter Messiah – Cursed to the Pyre Review

“Playing a perfectly twisted combo of Coma of Souls Kreator and Reign in Blood Slayer that’s been laced with the icy fingers of black metal, Slaughter Messiah are unabashedly planting their flag of hate just south of heaven and laying claim to the realm of late 80’s/early 90’s thrash.” High, higher, hear the Pyre!

TerrifianT – Terrifiant Review

TerrifianT – Terrifiant Review

“Nothing lasts forever. Despite having a very sweet opening run to 2020, I knew that I’d come back down to earth. Three ‘very good’ albums in a row, featuring strong songwriting, production, and vocals, was honestly more than I could have hoped for. Eventually, the system will reset itself, and something mundane will drip down the basement pipes to my desk. Enter TerrifianT, who, yes, capitalize that last ‘T.'” Terror with a capital T.

Bütcher – 666 Goats Carry My Chariot Review

Bütcher – 666 Goats Carry My Chariot Review

“Did you ever stop and wonder what a collaboration between Mercyful Fate, Celtic Frost, Agent Steel and Darkthrone circa Transilvanian Hunger would sound like? You probably didn’t, but Belgium blackened speed metal deviants Bütcher certainly did, and then they created 666 Goats Carry My Chariot to see if such a crazy musical time heist was even possible. It is, and I for one welcome our new time warping speed overlords, even as I flee from the super weapon of mass destruction they’ve wrought.” Goat show.

Slow – VI – Dantalion Review

Slow – VI – Dantalion Review

“An indifferent moon silently presides over an ocean bejeweled with the shimmering ghosts of stars, witness to all and concerned with none. The air is alive with salt and sea breeze, the water as clear and cold as the uncompromising truth that is mortality. You, of course, are aware of precisely none of these things, nor of anything else aside from your own clear, cold reality: You’re fucking drowning, yo. Waxen, hypoxic skin and waterlogged lungs are all that you are here, a stifled testimony of abject self defeat and an inconsequential offering to no one; defeated, drowning… dead. This is what the darkest shades of depression feel like, a perpetually cold and helpless state of being on the wrong side of a near death moment as the world around you spins on, unaffected and insouciant. VI – Dantalion is the soundtrack to such a self-sustained drowning.” Deep waters.

Magic Kingdom – MetAlmighty Review

Magic Kingdom – MetAlmighty Review

“Having never heard of Magic Kingdom prior to this review, I was surprised to find out that the band’s existence dates back to 1998 and to find out that Mr. Lance King himself had at one point been involved with the band according to Metal Archives. MetAlmighty finds the band slinging power metal tunes that should satisfy fans of bands like Theocracy, Gloryhammer, and the various incarnations of Rhapsody.” Magic, monsters, and monarchs.

Cathubodua – Continuum Review

Cathubodua – Continuum Review

“Fucking fuck you fucking all, you fuck fucking fucks. I absolutely fucking hate everyone right now and I blame each and every one of you miserable shits. I suppose I could blame Steel, him having personally assigned me to the nightmare which I must shortly relive, but I blame you. You, ‘dear’ ‘read’-er, are why we do the over worded and under think-ed things that we do, and to the best of my knowledge I have never hurt any of you enough to owe anyone the undertaking that was Continuum, an album I’ll be dedicating my life and liver to erasing the memory of.” Powers.

Merda Mundi – Hatred Review

Merda Mundi – Hatred Review

“Even if readers are not familiar with Merda Mundi‘s brand of chaotic raw black metal, they will likely be acquainted with its lone band member Déhà, Belgium’s hardest working metal musician. Among his—I’m gonna go with thousands of—other projects, he is also the lone or primary member of post-black project Déhà and funeral doom band Slow, both of which have been covered—by which I mean sprayed with Muppet juice—on this here site. But if those projects represent Déhà’s ego and superego, Merda Mundi is his raging id.” Hatred now!