“If the conversations I’ve seen on the interwebs are any indication, 2018 hasn’t been the greatest year for metal. In that regard, Allfather’s new album should come with an apology. Sorry for breaking your fucking necks, the sticker would read. But we had to remind you what good metal is all about.” Father knows beast.
“Through my obsession with Acid Bath, I developed a taste for other trailblazing NOLA bands, from Soilent Green, Eyehategod, Down and Crowbar, to lesser known acts, like underrated grind maestros Flesh Parade and Mule Skinner. The latter act released a gem of a lone LP in 1996 called Abuse that I snagged a CD copy of many moons ago.” Skin to win.
“Anyone who’s seen The Wire knows Baltimore can be a rough place, but on Memorial Day weekend every year, things get especially brutal. Hundreds of rabid metal fans from all over the world descend on ‘Charm City’ to participate in Maryland Deathfest, and the result is four days of moshing, headbanging, and partying like it’s 1989.” Death to all.
“Exploding through the frigid waves and frothing foam, the leviathan’s ponderous girth smashes down upon the rocky shore with a thunderous wet slap. Slowly, laboriously, the tidal titan heaves himself ashore, massive muscles undulating under the dense layers of blubber enrobed in barnacle encrusted plate metal. The Iron Walrus has come this day, and nothing on the beach can move him, nor compel his to departure.” Coo coo ca choo.
“Forgotten Tomb’s recent output has taken on a chunkier form – thick chord patterns becoming the prominent mode of expression. Their depressive black metal escapades of the early 2000s eradicated: the icy sheen of their stabbing tremolo making way for swampier humidity.” King of the Swamp or merely soggy?
“The metal world is far different than it was just seven years ago. Agalloch was still a band, people still took Wintersun seriously, and this new beast called “metallic hardcore” was first rearing its HM2-powered head. Spearheaded by groups like Black Breath, Enabler, and (arguably) Nails, the style rejected the Gothenburg-inspired metalcore of the mid-00s by instead delivering a violent combination of frenetic metal riffing and pummeling hardcore fury. It was a sound that Massachusetts’s All Pigs Must Die embraced with open arms.” Long story snort; they’re back.
“Before we begin, let’s take a moment and admire the cover art to your left, shall we? Here we have Steel Druhm and a fellow soldier buddy, waging intergalactic war against alien things while the logo for Cleveland’s Contra may or may not cause Konami’s lawyers to give them a phone call quicker than one can shout, “Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start.”” Ape escape and stoner grapes.
“Some 20 years ago, several prominent NOLA scene members activated Goatwhore and a new beast and underground supergroup was born, most notably featuring Acid Bath/Crowbar axeslinger Sammy Duet and Soilent Green frontman Ben Falgoust. It took a while before Goatwhore perfected their blasphemous style of sludgy, death-infused black metal, striking pay-dirt with the back-to-back punch of 2006’s A Haunting Curse and 2009’s Carving Out the Eyes of God. Since then they’ve been treading water with a couple of solid but less engaging albums, lacking the staying power of their best work.” Goats are excellent swimmers.
“Reviewing is not a complicated process. We listen to a promo album the same way an average listener would, with our heart and gut, gauging our emotional state during each separate song and the album as a whole. Aside from that, we analyze from a more clinical point of view, weighing factors like originality, history, and experience of the band, the skill of individual members, and production quality. We weigh all the good against all the bad like Anubis and his feather, but every now and then an album comes along that doesn’t seem to have any flaws.” The reviewing game is not for the squeamish.
“Devil To Pay is the brainchild of guitarist/vocalist/songwriter Steve Janiak. A Bend Through Space And Time is their fifth album, and follows up 2013’s Fate Is Your Muse. Both records focus lyrically on the metaphysical and anything one hallucinates about when in a drug-induced coma, as Janiak was a few years ago.” To sleep, perchance to jam.
