King Diamond

Carriage – Visions Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on July 30, 2018 in 2018, American Metal, Heavy Metal, Reviews, Stormspell Records, Heavy Metal, 112 comments

“Does Grier have a problem? No, motherfucker, he doesn’t. If he had a problem, there would be a new review, interview, or career introspective on King every week here at AMG. But, that’s not the case, is it? So, for all you sonsabitches out there that think I have a problem, I’m gonna prove to you that I’m not crazy. That’s right, I’m going to review Carriage’s non-King-related debut record, Visions. This album is so far from King Diamond—and Mercyful Fate, for that matter—that you’re all gonna be proud of Old Man Grier. So, does us all a favor and chill.” The Intervention of Kings is upon us!

The Konsortium – Rogaland Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on June 5, 2018 in 2018, Agonia Records, Black Metal, Folk Metal, Norwegian Metal, Reviews, Thrash Metal, Black Metal, Folk Metal, Thrash Metal, 60 comments

“If you’re into the Norwegian black metal scene, you may know bassist/guitarist/songwriter Teloch. For those that don’t know, he’s the man behind Nidingr and responsible for guitars and songwriting on Mayhem’s Esoteric Warfare. If you do know the man, you already knew that and also know he’s a member of the once mysterious—but now not-so-mysterious—black/thrash outfit The Konsortium, where he writes and plays bass alongside the legendary black metal drummer Dirge Rep, and, together, they rip, shred, and tear shit apart.” At the Roga, Roga Cabana.

Battlesoul – Sunward and Starward Review

By Eldritch Elitist on March 9, 2018 in 2018, Canadian Metal, CDN Records, Folk Metal, Reviews, Folk Metal, Melodic Death Metal, 39 comments

“When I was first exploring metal’s myriad subgenres, I figured out what I like to hear in folk metal in record time. My favorites the style has to offer are those of the fast, infectiously catchy variety; acts like the early incarnations of Ensiferum and Equilibrium make up my personal top tier, plodding mid-paced and accordion-based stuff fills out the bottom tier, and any band in the mid-tier is merely forgettable. Battlesoul falls into this mid-tier, but it’s certainly not due to mediocre songwriting chops.” Tiers of the dragon.

Necrosexual – Grim 1 Review

By Mark Z. on February 23, 2018 in 2018, American Metal, Black Metal, Reviews, Self-released, Thrash Metal, Black Metal, Thrash Metal, 0 comments

“Apparently being ‘necro’ is a big thing right now. Necrophobic and Necropanther have new albums out this month, and the redundantly-titled Necrodeath are releasing a new record in March. With all that death piling up, where do Necrosexual squeeze themselves in? On the greasy avenue of primitive blackened thrash, of course.” Love life, not the dead.

Candle – The Keeper’s Curse Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on February 21, 2018 in 2018, Fighter Records, Heavy Metal, Reviews, Swedish Metal, Heavy Metal, 0 comments

“It’s now been over a decade since King Diamond released an album. It’s almost been two decades since Mercyful Fate’s final record. Hell, the last time the King released a full-length disc, yours truly was is Mr. A.N. Grier. How fucking sad is that? As you can imagine, I’ve been dead inside since 2007.” Leave a Candle lit for the King.

Dr. A.N. Grier’s Top Ten(ish) of 2017

By Dr. A.N. Grier on December 30, 2017 in 2017, Blog Posts, Lists, 121 comments

“Remember that scene in Ghostbusters (the real Ghostbusters…) where Winston tells Ray, ‘If someone asks you if you are a god, you say yes!’ Well, if someone asks you if you want to write a guide for teaching organic chemistry, you say hellafuckingno. I’m serious. Do yourself, and everyone around you, a favor. So, yeah, this year’s been nuts. Thankfully, there’s Angry Metal Guy—a solace for all metalheads to come together and be verbally abused and cat-tailed in the company basement.” Cat’s got yer list.

Vaultwraith – Death Is Proof of Satan’s Power Review

By Mark Z. on November 2, 2017 in 2017, American Metal, Black Metal, Heavy Metal, Hells Headbangers Records, Reviews, Black Metal, Heavy Metal, 78 comments

“As I write this, Halloween is fast approaching. For me, it’s a time of binging on bad horror movies, gorging myself on Starbursts, and watching girls make things slutty that I didn’t even know could be slutty. Yet those long shadows and that eerie October chill also make a great time to enjoy some good old-fashioned metal, even if by ‘old fashioned’ I really mean a style which just emerged a few years ago. I’m talking about ‘blackened heavy metal’…” Starburst, slutty nurses, B-horror movies, and… blackened heavy metal?

Yer Metal Is Olde: Helloween – Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I

By Huck N Roll on October 23, 2017 in 2017, German Metal, Power Metal, Yer Metal Is Olde, Power Metal, 107 comments

“Back in May, my Twitter feed burped this out at me: “30 years ago today, Helloween released Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I.” The memories flooded back. For most of you, our loyal thralls readers, 1987 isn’t even a glint in your papa’s eye.” Still a keeper after all these years.

Zornheym – Where Hatred Dwells And Darkness Reigns Review

By Ferrous Beuller on September 15, 2017 in 2017, Non Serviam Records, Reviews, Swedish Metal, Symphonic Metal, Black Metal, Death Metal, Symphonic Metal, 42 comments

“First, a question: do you love King Diamond? If the answer is no, you’re dead to me. If the answer is yes, congratulations; my definitive opinion deems you worthy. If, however, you’ve always been enticed by the inherent fun of the King’s horror-fiction but have never been able to click with Bendix’s unique vocals, or perhaps found the music a little lacking in extremity, then… you’re dead to me. But fear not, fallible one, a saviour crests on this wan-mooned abyss of night. Zornheym, a Stockholm based predator culled from the likes of Dark Funeral, Diabolical, and Facebreaker, have collectively extended their talents into a symphonic project whose oeuvre borrows from both black and death metal.” A one way ticket to the nervous hospital.

Portrait – Burn the World Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on August 25, 2017 in 2017, Heavy Metal, Metal Blade, Reviews, Swedish Metal, Heavy Metal, 23 comments

“OK, no stories this time. I don’t want to cause anyone to walk away from an album they might actually enjoy. Instead, I’ll just be blunt and boring. I’ll compress reviews into simple phrases like “album of the year” or “this isn’t brutal enough and you’re all pussies for liking it.” I guess 700 words is a waste of time for some and I should just force-feed shitty clickbaiting one-liners to you like a CNN ticker tape. I guess I could do that. Or… I could say fuck that and hammer out another lengthy piece proclaiming my love for King Diamond and Mercyful Fate. Yep, I think I’ll do that.” King Clickbait strikes again.