Lacuna Coil

Dominia – The Withering of the Rose Review

Dominia – The Withering of the Rose Review

The Withering is the follow-up to 2017’s Stabat Mater, which represented another slab of heavy gothic metal in Dominia’s catalog, as violins and keys did battle with harsh vocals and doomy riffs. Does the latest offering from Dominia see further growth or, well, a withering on the vine?” Roses are dead.

Angry Metal Guy’s Top Ten(ish) o’ 2019

Angry Metal Guy’s Top Ten(ish) o’ 2019

I’m a big fan of the D&D-themed webcomic Order of the Stick. As the comic became a true phenomenon a decade ago and its author Rich Burlew became increasingly in demand, he began drawing himself looking more disheveled with every self-portrait. In the introduction to the most recently released book, his self-portrait is wearing sweatpants, has unkempt hair and looks about ready to fall over. That is a feeling I viscerally share. Or, as the kids say in 2019: IT ME!

Dissorted – The Final Divide Review

Dissorted – The Final Divide Review

“What am I supposed to do if I can’t look at a band’s country of origin and judge them accordingly? What the fuck am I supposed to do as a reviewer if I can’t take one of my Sodom reviews, copy-and-paste it into the blog, and change the band name and album title? Don’t worry, dear reader. It’s no problem. I’ll, instead, steal some adjectives from Steel‘s Death Angel reviews and verbiage from AMG‘s Iced Earth ones to pen my writeup of The Final Divide. That’ll work.” Plague of plagiarism.

Record(s) o’ the Month – October 2019

Record(s) o’ the Month – October 2019

I’ve been known to throw the occasional curve ball, but I think three Record(s) o’ the Month(s) in one month is the first time I’ve ever pulled this particular caper. But Angry Metal Guy is never late. Nor is he early. He does what he’s doing precisely at the moment he intends to do it. For reasons that are his own (but are mostly fuck you). This month’s Record(s) o’ the Month is dedicated to all the people who like music for “atmosphere.” Of course, you might as well say that you “like whatever, so long as it has a good beat.” But the way you’re doing it is way more trve and garners you less friends and so much metal cred. I thought I’d help you all out by giving you a handful of bands that can write and (gasp) edit songs!

Lacuna Coil – Black Anima Review

Lacuna Coil – Black Anima Review

“In his 1848 tract Human, All Too Human (Menschliches, Allzumenschliches: Ein Buch für freie Geister), Fredrich Nietzsche wrote that “hope, in reality, is the worst of all evils for it prolongs the torment of man.” So many of the bands I enjoyed as a young metal fan have demonstrated time and again just how right Nietzsche was.” Oh yeah, a double review and a Nietzsche quote? This is gonna be good.

5Rand – Dark Mother Review

5Rand – Dark Mother Review

“Regardless what the band name means, I bet those who dabble in guessing a band’s genre by their name can guess this one. With simple melodeath riffs set atop typical metalcore ones, 5Rand‘s unique trait is the alternating rasps, growls, cleans by vocalist Julia Elenior. Toss in headbanging licks of Shogun-era Trivium and some rather impressive drum work, and you’ve got the band’s second full-length release, Dark Mother.” Mother knows beast.

Ascend the Hollow – Echoes of Existence Review

Ascend the Hollow – Echoes of Existence Review

“I am ashamed. Why? Because I almost let this badass record slip through my greedy clutches. You see, my good friend (who we know as Septic ’round these parts) randomly pops in now and again to apprise me on some of his choice metallic discoveries. He introduced Irish/German/Dutch quartet Ascend the Hollow to me and I was instantly hooked. Like, so fast my head spun. I needed to share my excitement for Echoes of Existence with as many people as possible, but how? It would’ve been grand if we received promo, I thought. Then, all of a sudden I received a virtual sucker punch while rooting around the bin—the thing’s been sitting there since the end of April! How in the actual heck did I miss that??? And lo I experienced great embarrassment. I nearly neglected one of the coolest new bands to materialize out of absolute nowhere this year.” Finder of nearly lost things.

Whyzdom – As Time Turns to Dust Review

Whyzdom – As Time Turns to Dust Review

“In the curd kingdom of Powermetapolis, in the days just before World War III, things were not well. A cruel wizard, known as Dread Lord Chëëse, had descended upon Powermetapolis with his army — the Trite Trope Troop — and engulfed the lands in flames of predictable parmesan. The echoes of endless Epica clones haunted the air with their carbon-copy cries, over-the-top orchestral orchids had all but choked the indigenous metal flora into extinction, and the kingdom found itself reduced to a laughable shell of its former potential in the wake of the invading tides. Times were trvly tough for Powermetapolis, and in 2007 a group of a peculiar species known as Frenchmen formed an alliance known as Whyzdom, a musical militia whose mission was to bring back the life, the glory, and the powah to the kingdom.” Take the powah back!