“These days, the album bin’s like a box of chocolates: most morsels are halfway decent, except the random orange-flavored ones. Despite a name suggesting a jaunt on the Seven Seas and a promo sheet whispering sweet nothings of Insomnium, Agalloch, and Woods of Ypres, Raise the Black’s debut, Portrait, has the pinkish taste of despair to it.” Taste the pink despair!
“Our readers seem to know our tastes better than we do. So, it’s probably not surprising to anyone that I’m reviewing (and loving) the new Mors Principium Est record. Especially when you compare it to my top picks of 2016. This is my bread ‘n’ butter and MPE’s crushing melodeath (from Inhumanity to their new record, Embers of a Dying World) is as much a part of me as my gray hair.” Thrash that olde gray head, he said.
“Treacly melodies, sub-dermal hooks and pop-infused synths, Ember Falls are gunning for stardom by way of your mental taste buds with their debut, Welcome to Ember Falls. Fame is an elusive, fickle beast and Ember Falls is but another band hoping to stand out amongst a deluge of delicacies jostling to whet our collective appetite. It remains to be seen whether Welcome to Ember Falls sluices down an eager gullet, hitting the bliss point like an Olympic sharpshooter or is instead a bitter pill to swallow.” Take your black medicine!
“Primal Attack play thrashy melodic death in the vein of The Haunted but run it through an ‘actually any good’ era Machine Head filter. There’s also a strong Pantera presence in the ‘fuck you’ attitude.” Put on your beater and strap on the heater.
“Being at the bridge between traditional and more extreme forms of metal, death-thrash isn’t a style with a lot of clout. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the sub-genre, but its middle ground status means that most peoples’ preferences fall to one side of the genre or the other. While there’s no denying the beauty of heavy metal, readers will recognize that I fall on the brutal side of the scale.” Brutality is a deathstyle choice.
“With a basic internet connection offering an up-to-the-minute cornucopia of quality metal releases, snap judgments have become an unfortunate way of life. On my first listen, Undrask came off as middling melodeath in the vain of acts emulating Clayman—In Flames and peak Children of Bodom. Packaged in a blue-and-orange visage that could leave Michael Bay weak in the knees, debut Battle Through Time initially left me stifling a yawn. Sorry, better luck next time. NEXT!” A funny thing happened on the way to the review.
“Relentlessly picking on black metal bands whose members opt for anonymity is a favorite pastime of ours here at Angry Metal Guy, but it kinda sorta makes sense when you look at the practice from the band’s perspective. When trying to break into the scene, withholding one’s identity means that critics have only the music to go on, and if the musicians happen to suck, it eliminates any possibility of cred shredding in the eyes of the masses.” Secret identities are metal.
![Mistur – In Memoriam [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Mistur-cover-presse-768x768.jpg)
“If you look back through the top ten archives of the site, you’ll find it’s not uncommon to see a band on a list that was never reviewed by us. If a promo doesn’t come through our hand-hewn bone doors, it doesn’t get reviewed. But, even with that rule in place, there’re just too many promos arriving on a weekly basis to catch them all. What is uncommon is an album that not only landed on a couple lists but also took the top spot.” The embargo must be broken!
“Before I write this review, let me educate the non-American readers of this fine website about the amazing about-face that happens this time of year. Just one day before I finalized this review, our nation celebrated Thanksgiving, a day where we all sit around the table, eat turkey, unsuccessfully avoid all conversations about politics, and above all give thanks for what we have. I mention this because 24 hours later, a phenomenon known as Black Friday began. A day where all promises of thanks and gratefulness are dashed.” Fight for that discount waffle maker!
“Those that have followed In Flames from the very beginning, know that the Swedes have a divisive melodic death discography that extends nearly as long as my arm. From the 90s to the 00s it’s difficult to believe that today’s In Flames is even the same band.” En fuego or down in flames?
