“Let’s be honest. The internet has simultaneously made everything better while absolutely fucking ruined it. Yes, we can get music and movies instantly, order pizza online, and buy embarrassing shit like hemorrhoidal cream without handing someone money face to face. At the same time, any mystery about life has been sucked out of our consciousness like an effeminate Brad Pitt in Interview With A Vampire chomping on some pale, lame white girl.” The internetz are for porn (and butt balm).
“It shouldn’t surprise you that Dead Conspiracy plays the sort of death metal that has little in common with modern incarnations of it or even Morbid Angel, but rather sounds like over the top thrash. My first impression was a less punky war metal or Possessed on speed but with less cool solos.” From the days when every town had Seven Churches.
“Are you ready? Are you prepared? It doesn’t matter really, Conceived by Hate are coming for you and your sacred cows with their sophomore album Death & Beyond. Ready to prove that this death/thrash quintet from El Salvador can melt your face just as well as your beloved favorites. There’s no time for frivolous introductions nor loquacious asides, no respite or shelter either. Only the snapping of bones under boots. This is music that kicks in your door, shaves your cat, and screams at your furniture. ” Our furniture had it coming.
“Mithras is finally back with fourth full-length On Strange Loops – an album reportedly six years in the making and probably the last with longtime vocalist/bassist Rayner Coss, who left the group earlier this year. Strap in, sit tight, and set phasers to ‘fuck yeah’ as we explore what’s likely to be the best death metal record of 2016.” Let’s get loopy!
“Darkrypt was helpfully labelled as an Indian “dark death metal” band when I got the promo, which is great to know because I really thought a band named after a portmanteau of darkness and a dark underground tomb was going to be bright, poppy stuff in the vein of Carly Rae Jepsen.” I heard they’re doing a split.
“I haven’t reviewed death metal in a good long time, so I thought I’d get back on the dead horse with upstart Arizona act, Gatecreeper. For their Sonoran Depravation debut they’ve crafted a style mixing equal parts of the D-beat Swede-death style made famous by Entombed, the grit and dirge of Asphyx and the bastard war grind of Bolt Thrower. Sounds tempting, eh?” Tempted by the tank of another….
“Sometimes it’s almost impossible not to look back on the past and ask ‘what if?’ As in ‘what if I’d actually taken those piano lessons in middle school and learned to play an instrument?’ or ‘what if I’d actually talked to that cute girl in my sophomore English class and didn’t end up as a single guy in my mid-twenties eating Chinese takeout on my couch while wearing a faded Morbid Angel shirt with the sleeves cut off?’ With debut Distant Call, German thrashy metalcore quartet Awaiting Downfall aim to answer their own versions of this question: what if Trivium didn’t go full Metallicore with The Crusade and instead tried to remake Ember to Inferno?” The implications are staggering!
“The endless darkness, desolation, intriguing mystery and suffocating atmosphere of space pairs well with metal. Science fiction themes, dystopian futures and extra terrestrial shenanigans are all familiar sources of inspiration in the metal scene, however Colorado up and comers Blood Incantation do a particularly excellent job of nailing down the dense reality, claustrophobic atmosphere and otherworldly vibe of our mysterious universe on their hugely impressive full-length debut, Starspawn.” Space in your face.
“Mindscar gets weirder the more you learn about them.” With an endorsement like that, how can you not click through?
“Reviewers the world over can agree; compartmentalizing bands into neat little genre labels can make life easier, but don’t necessarily do bands justice. Case in point: Virginia’s Inter Arma are equal parts Southern rock, sludge, doom metal, 70’s prog rock, and cavernous death metal.” Pigeonholery is an art AND a science.
