Nov16

Eternal Deformity – No Way Out Review

Eternal Deformity – No Way Out Review

“By the time you read this, Halloween 2016 is long gone. Oral surgeons have deposited their paychecks earned at the expense of children unfortunate enough to chomp down on razor blades, and your cranky olde neighbor is probably marching across the street right now to ask when the hell you’re getting that damned rotting jack o’ lantern off your porch. As I’m writing, however, the night of Halloween is still young, and I have an appropriately eerie soundtrack to accompany the festivities.” The pumpkin stays right where it’s at, bub.

Dead Conspiracy – Dead Conspiracy Review

Dead Conspiracy – Dead Conspiracy Review

“It shouldn’t surprise you that Dead Conspiracy plays the sort of death metal that has little in common with modern incarnations of it or even Morbid Angel, but rather sounds like over the top thrash. My first impression was a less punky war metal or Possessed on speed but with less cool solos.” From the days when every town had Seven Churches.

Conceived By Hate – Death & Beyond Review

Conceived By Hate – Death & Beyond Review

“Are you ready? Are you prepared? It doesn’t matter really, Conceived by Hate are coming for you and your sacred cows with their sophomore album Death & Beyond. Ready to prove that this death/thrash quintet from El Salvador can melt your face just as well as your beloved favorites. There’s no time for frivolous introductions nor loquacious asides, no respite or shelter either. Only the snapping of bones under boots. This is music that kicks in your door, shaves your cat, and screams at your furniture. ” Our furniture had it coming.

Quicksand Dream – Beheading Tyrants Review

Quicksand Dream – Beheading Tyrants Review

“When a band is so damn trve they make their fans wait 16 years for a follow up album, you know you’re dealing with some real hard asses. Quicksand Dream is their name, and the waiting game is their…game. They burst on the epic metal scene way back in 2000 with their disastrously titled Aelin – A Story About Destiny debut, and though that name was like a poke in the eye, there was no denying the righteous Cirith Ungol and Brocas Helm worshiping within. It was a sound so completely lost up the ass of metal history that it became the very embodiment of “cult” and doomed the band to self inflicted obscurity.” Those that don’t know, don’t know.

Cognition – Procession of Thoughts Review

Cognition – Procession of Thoughts Review

“When I was saddled with West Virginia natives Cognition’s sophomore LP Procession of Thoughts, it was with the impression that I would be receiving a prog album to review. Neither I, nor the powers that be, had any indication that this was not the case. Every piece of promotional material released by the band comes with a “progressive metal” descriptor and a giant eye, one of the genre’s many stalwart symbols, graces an awkwardly framed cover which absolutely screams prog. Despite all meters pointing straight to wankery, it took me less than a minute to realize that I had been duped.” Cognitive dissonance.

Freedom Call – Master of Light Review

Freedom Call – Master of Light Review

“If you didn’t listen to the lack of God in the lyrics, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Freedom Call’s newest record, Master of Light, is chock full of so-called Christian metal. It’s a consistently uplifting record, focused on what sounds like good, beauty, and wonder instead of evil and/or nihilism. If the astoundingly good DOOM reboot (easily the best game of the year) showed us anything, it’s that good can easily be an order of magnitude more “metal” than evil.” Power, pecs and pizzazz.

Adaestuo – Tacent Semitae Review

Adaestuo – Tacent Semitae Review

“As readers of Angry Metal Guy, y’all know what happens when a new black metal band throws itself at the teeming hordes while trying to remain anonymous. Guessing games ensue. Frantic-yet-fruitless searches begin on various websites. Unicorns mysteriously appear. Nine times out of ten, though, nothing new is really brought to the forefront of our collective psyche. In other words, anonymous rehashes can only go so far, and repaintings of the same ol’ Deathspell Omega portrait get old quickly.” The picture of Deathspellian Gray.

Witchtrap – Trap the Witch Review

Witchtrap – Trap the Witch Review

“Look at that album title. Look at that art. Now that is a gimmick! Forgive my exuberance, but after only just overcoming the trauma-induced tinnitus from my previous attempts at thrash, Witchtrap prove that good things come to those who scour the promo sheet with a fine-toothed comb.” Nasty things come to those who dumpster dive.