Ozzy Osbourne

Black Swamp Water – Awakening Review

Black Swamp Water – Awakening Review

“I grabbed this promo from the rattlesnake and scorpion-infested bin at AMG‘s Southwest office because I thought it was thrash. See, I’ve been on a thrash kick lately and I had no qualms grabbing another thrash release to review. The band name didn’t exactly strike me as a band that played thrash. But, who am I to judge? Maybe they’re swampy thrashers from the South, like Pantera and Exhorder. But, this is no thrash band. Everything I know about life is a lie.” Swamp romps.

Pounder – Breaking the World Review

Pounder – Breaking the World Review

Pounder‘s 2019 debut Uncivilized was covered here by Lokasenna, and since he seems to have quietly and non-suspiciously disappeared, Steel Druhm has seen fit to assign follow-up Breaking the World to yours truly. I have no illusions about why Steel has done this. It’s obvious that he believes I will end up crucifying myself before the commentariat, either by being unable to resist making unsavory jokes about the band’s name, or by going into full Skelator mode by lavishing praise upon yet another heavy metal album with questionable vocals.” Pounding the world.

Yer Metal Is Olde: Black Sabbath – Heaven and Hell

Yer Metal Is Olde: Black Sabbath – Heaven and Hell

“Hello, controversy! In all of metal, one of the most controversial topics is Black Sabbath with and without Ozzy. Passions are inflamed and regrettable words are spewed in both directions any time this debate comes up. Being a human completely lacking in emotion or empathy, I don’t care about it. I want good albums period, and let’s be honest, this record’s predecessor was Never Say Die!, undoubtedly one of the band’s least finest moments, with or without their infamous leading man. No matter what came next, it was a low bar.” Vintage evil.

Firewind – Firewind Review

Firewind – Firewind Review

“While I’m not intimately familiar with the vast majority of Firewind‘s discography, entries like debut Between Heaven and Hell, 2010’s Days of Defiance, and 2017’s Immortals have all impressed me in one way or another. When I first got my guitar, Gus G. was the darling of the guitar magazine world after being selected for the prestigious role of being Ozzy’s solo axeman. But it’s his work on Dream Evil‘s debut Dragonslayer — a record that happens to be one of my favorite heavy/power releases of all time — that cements him upon a nostalgic throne in my metal heart.” Born of Firewind, other fire and steel.

Lordi – Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) Review

Lordi – Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) Review

“The rubber costumes, Halloween-themed perversions, and Rob Zombie-meets-’80s hair metal ditties aren’t on the list of ‘Things Metalheads Need.’ Yet, their Gwar-ish concepts spring up every couple of years as the Metal Monster Squad’s own songs (?) summon them via radio shows hosted by either Twisted Sister‘s Dee Snider or Rockin’ Ralph Ruiz. And they don’t seem to care if you want what they have to offer or not—even if they’ve done it some ten times in twice as many years. And, only God/Satan knows, but there’s a handful of you sick sonsabitches out there that enjoy this crap. So, this review of Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) is for you. Be ashamed of yourself.” Monster, Inc.

Quayde LaHüe – Love out of Darkness Review

Quayde LaHüe – Love out of Darkness Review

“I was saddened to learn that by skipping the first day of Eliminator Fest, I’d missed a performance by the band that I find myself covering today: Olympia, Washington’s Quayde LaHüe. After spending time with their debut album Love out of Darkness, I’m vowing to catch them live at some point, because these guys and gal kick some serious olde school ass.” Love in a dark place.

Ogre – Thrice as Strong Review

Ogre – Thrice as Strong Review

“When you see an album cover like this (painted by the drummer, no less), and a slogan that goes “In a doomed world, they must remain Thrice as Strong,” well, who wouldn’t grab this from the promo sump? Everyone but me, it seems. I’d never heard of Ogre before, despite these Portland, Maine doomsters having been around for twenty years now. It’s a great name for a band, though, and I love their use of the word “Thrice.”” Thrice pudding.

Screamer – Highway of Heroes Review

Screamer – Highway of Heroes Review

“The tides of progress in metal will never erode the bedrock of the genre, that special thing we call heavy metal. The mix of power, strength, hope, and joy inherent in this little slice of the metal pie will always appeal to many metalheads so long as the genre continues to exist. Fortunately for Screamer, there will always be a place for records like Highway of Heroes. Fortunately for us, this means bands like Screamer will continue to make them.” Your mom’s a… nah, too easy.

Netherbird – Into the Vast Uncharted Review

Netherbird – Into the Vast Uncharted Review

Netherbird too evolved up quite a bit since the rocky, raw days of their youth. They’ve gone from garish gothic to contemplative pseudo-meloblack and the maturity required to handle that respectfully. Into the Vast Uncharted, then, is apropos, as despite that growth, Netherbird is a band searching for more.” Free (Nether)bird.