“I love the retro metal/hard rock movement. Call it retro, call it dad metal, call it what you want. When it’s done well it can be as much fun as it was back when I was listening to the real thing in the ’70s and ’80s. Do it badly, though, and it’s just sad. ” All rise, then boogie.
“You may not have thought it but Beherit brings people together, much like Christmas and accounts of drunken excess. A mutual affinity for the Finnish blackened barbarians drew Neill Jameson of Krieg and Jenks Miller of Horseback into collaborating on a new project called Poison Blood. Tales of the occult are spun through the medium of black metal but Miller, particularly, draws from a repertoire far beyond that which is typical for the genre.” Punk up the blackness.
“Hell isn’t a unique topic in the realms of heavy metal. Whether it’s scalding hot or freezing cold, overpopulated with sinners or barren like a desert filled with tumbleweeds and rattlesnakes, Satan’s home and permanent tourist hot-spot has been covered to death and undeath too many times to count. Many metal bands, from Black Sabbath to the kvltest of tr00 black metal, weaved so many tales of that realm that it’s become old hat now. M.S.W., the sole member of Salem, Oregon’s Hell, knows this.” Going down.
“Once again, Incantation have returned to drop another platter of death metal denser than the Earth’s mantle and more noxious than whatever genetic twist of fate finds us sharing a world with Kardashians. Previous album, Dirges of Elysium, was described by Steel Druhm – the one man guaranteed to bring a gun to a knife fight – as “accessible;” a relative term when discussing any metal band, but particularly one like Incantation.” Art in the abyss.
“Last year’s Nails record was as blunt as they come. It’s rare that a band can generate enough hype — and then live up to it — that they can brazenly assert their superiority without being a laughingstock. But the trio did just that, leaving an open challenge to would-be peers in the title track of You Will Never be One of Us. When Moral Void heard the refrain, they thumbed their noses at the speakers. ‘Fuck you, Todd Jones,’ they said, ‘yes we will.'” Join or die.
“I’m fed up with wizards, dragons, and leather-cladded warriors in metal. I’m fed up with corpse paint, studs, and leather-cladded necromancers in metal. I’m fed up with groove, headbanging, and flannel-cladded bong wizards in metal. I’m fed up with melody and happiness in metal, that’s why Atriarch – with their fourth full-length Dead As Truth – have arrived at the perfect time.” Celebrate the sludge.
“Who says being generic is a bad thing? Loads of people love mashed potatoes. Applebee’s makes millions off of Stockholm syndrome victims everyday. Ed Sheeran gets universal radio play despite being the musical equivalent of 160 pounds of Applebee’s mashed potatoes. Eons ago, before departing for the Undying Lands, Happy Metal Guy dropped the G-bomb a whopping seven times to describe German melodeath act Dawn of Disease.” We can’t all be trailblazers.
“Maybe it was the strange appearance of an unsigned progressive power metal band from Philadelphia of all places (or maybe it was Lör’s use of the most sacred of all metal naming conventions, the umlaut) that drew me to it, but I instantly reserved In Forgotten Sleep when it popped up in our promo queue. A totally unjustifiable anticipation grew in the back of my mind in the weeks leading up to my acquisition of the album.” Hope in the promo sump.
“Subservience’s Forest of the Impaled, on the other hand, is a violent war waged through the militaristic practices of Grave, Vader, Dismember, and Hypocrisy. I know what you’re thinking: not more Swe/Poland–death. Legitimate complaint. But, while Forest of the Impaled isn’t the most engaging or original of releases, it has just enough going on for it to avoid being the discharged aftermath of their predecessors’ lustful ways.” You picked the wrong forest…again.
“If you’re anything like me, first of all, clean your room, and second, you’re probably sick to death of bands aping the retro-doom sound making its rounds among the underground. The music’s gotta be something special for me to pay attention and give it my time. Thankfully, Demon Eye’s Prophecies and Lies is that something special.” Demon cleaner, room neatener.
