“With the dawn of a new year and all the changes that come with it, sometimes it’s good to keep in mind the things that stay the same. That is: Judge Judy will always provide excellent daytime television. The “cockroach mosh” video will never not be funny. And Hells Headbangers will continue to deliver a seemingly endless supply of barbaric extreme metal pulled from countries I’m only familiar with thanks to National Geographic.” Mysterious and riffy.
“Though he continues to use the shredding—and, sometimes melodic—guitar work of Abigail, the groove of Motörhead, and the speed metal of Venom, Athenar’s in-your-face vocal style, and evolving songwriting, are his own. But, the pressure is on and the hype is up. Will 2017’s Sweet Death and Ecstasy prove to be that follow-up No Mercy for Mayhem needs?” Midnight in the garden of scissors.
“It’s been a long and bitter journey. Fatigue clings to you like a drowning sailor; a debt accrued from the rancid marches and frigid mountains your troupe of brigands have had to push through. You stumble out from a forest that delighted in stymying your efforts to leave unscathed and come across a time-worn bridge that leads to a welcome sight — home. Before you can muster a cry of exultation a blood-curdling roar splits the silence and a gigantic blur of teeth and scales crashes down before you. A dragon now blocks your path.” Chaotic neutral.
“Welcome, AMG Readership, to our sanguinary sect of worship. Feel at home in our black conventicle as we anathematize all of those who oppose us. Don’t summon the Devil, don’t call the priest. If you need the strength, then conjure Germany’s Schafott, whose debut album, The Black Flame, is set to smolder the soul with classic blackened thrash.” Devotees will carve Slayer in their arm before returning to the cvlt.
“In the entire English language, no three words get me more excited than “Australian blackened thrash” (maybe “double bacon cheeseburger,” but that’s a different article). Deströyer 666, Gospel of the Horns, Nocturnal Graves — all great stuff, and Bloodlust is just as savage. This Perth-based trio formed in 2011 and consist of current and former members of Impiety, The Furor, and Mhorgl, among others. Somehow debut Cultus Diaboli slipped by me in 2015, but no matter — sophomore full-length At the Devil’s Left Hand is here, and it provides all the Satan, hellfire riffs, and Satan that your pathetic little ears can handle. Did I mention Satan?” Satan.
“All of us — even we manly men — have at some point, stumbled unnervingly into love. And we’ve all felt that multiverse-reverberating kidney punch when it inevitably goes to hell. To be so hopelessly enamored until destiny deigns to dissolve said bond and leave us only with a collection of increasingly pallid memories that cast a pall over once cherished years. Thus was my young love affair with Venom.” Of loves remembered and Satanic leagues disbanded.
“But, Bonehunter threw the first punch and the only way up is down. We might as well take it all out (and get it all out) because Bone(r)hunter’s newest record flails and flops like a fully erect Grizzly dick. Submit to the Sexual Panic Human Machine.” Bonus bear.
“Like Liam Neeson’s grizzled ex-CIA agent from Taken, Sweden’s Antichrist are possessed of a very particular set of skills, except their skills are focused on creating an authentic facsimile of the speed/thrash zeitgeist of the early eighties.” More 80s than Radio Shack!
“When I was thirteen years old I snagged an album with a wicked (cool word in 1983) cover. It was a drawing of what looked like a cynical, smartass devil. The album was Venom’s Black Metal, and my pals and I thought it was damn near the funniest thing we’d ever listened to. Crappy production, crappy musicians, goofy songs, and horrible vocals. We played that record to death, much to the displeasure of our mothers, girlfriends, and girlfriends’ mothers. C’mon, Huckles, why are you blathering on about Venom? This is supposed to be a writeup for Grave Danger, the second album from Finnish miscreants Foreseen. Well, that is what I’m doing here, but my point is that Grave Danger is basically another Venom album.” So he pulled up quick to get ve’nom!
“When I’m not knee-deep in moonlight and grave-soil, espousing the charnel delights of death metal’s immortal old-school, I can be found belligerently vibrating in the eye of a thrash storm, armed with only the most hostile and confrontational of riffs. S. Vrath is a man that well knows my plight. Guitarist, vocalist, and sometimes bassist of Scythian and Craven Idolhere is an individual that understands the importance of a well-forged riff and the immediate implications for my beleaguered vertebrae.” If thine neck offends thee, thrash it out!
