“Sometimes you come across an album where the name of the artist alone is enough to peak your interest. Case in point: Folk Metal Jacket. I never could resist a good pun. Does it make for good music though?” There’s a hole in your mindjacket.
GardensTale
Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.
Arch Enemy – Will to Power Review
“It’s a ritual most metalheads born in the 80’s have participated in. At some point, that guy who got into metal a few months before you did comes up to you, brandishing a discman, and says: “You gotta hear this, there’s a band with a chick who can growl!” In 10% of the cases, he’d have Kittie or Otep with him, but most of the time he’d be talking about Arch Enemy, the melodic death metal band whose primary distinguishing feature is having a chick who can growl.” Growlers, man.
Subterranean Masquerade – Vagabond Review
“Twelve years down the road from the debut, Subterranean Masquerade no longer sounds the same. The psychedelic has lost ground to the Oriental, and the introduction of Green Carnation vocalist Kjetil Nordhus has brought influences from his main gig into the songwriting. The subtle madness and looming shadow have made way for a scene of sunlit clay houses in a strange, vaguely Middle-Eastern land.” The mind of an artist is murky and mysterious.
Septicflesh – Codex Omega Review
“Something evil stirs beneath the Akropolis. Runes begin glowing red in the deep tunnels beneath the temple. Animals scatter in panic as drums rise from the depths. Vendors in Anafiotika pray to their respective gods, but find no respite in faith, as the ground begins to shake and crack. The reason for this unholy display? Septicflesh are back with another fat slab of orchestral death!” Night on Septic Mountain.
The Quill – Born From Fire Review
“Seeing the number of debuts and sophomore albums in our promo bin can be a little depressing. It seems to suggest most bands don’t last beyond the early stages. Maybe these young bands are ripped apart over squabbles about the musical direction, or bickering over how to divide the piles of money and groupies, or simply life happening and leaving no room for 9 months of touring per year. Not so for The Quill, a Swedish ‘heavy rock’ group that has been active since 1990 and now have Born From Fire, their 8th album, loaded into the trebuchet.” Flowing prose or writer’s block?
Canyon of the Skull – The Desert Winter Review
“I might have a minor masochistic streak when it comes to reviews. Sure, much of my rapidly developing reputation for reviewing dreck (see: Akoma, Invidia, Insatia, Blind Seer) arose from sheer bad luck on blind promo selection. But why else would I stand up and say “I’ll take the ring to Mordor” when Steel mockingly requested volunteers to review a 37-minute, self-released(!), sophomore(!!), single-track(!!!), instrumental(!!!!) doom metal album?” Snakebit.
Bloodnut – St. Ranga Review
“As so many bands take themselves too seriously, it hurt a little more than usual to gingerly let B;ppdmit down and mark their score in the red. It must have put some fire in their gut, because the boys are back to bring peace and justice to Gingers, in less time than it takes Jari Mäenpää to make a sandwich.” Apes be escaping.
Kabbalah – Spectral Ascent Review
“The formula for Spectral Ascent is quite simple. The music is rooted in classic, 70s style hard rock with a Coven-inspired occult atmosphere, draped over the bones of Black Sabbath and Blue Öyster Cult. If that makes you think: “Well golly gee, this here description sure do sound like Ghost,” I would tell you two things: learn some grammar, and you’re almost right.” Me fail English? Unpossible!
Blind Seer – Apocalypse 2.0 Review
“Just like some albums are growers, you occasionally encounter one that takes time to reveal itself as garbage. It may seem like a potentially good time, but repeat listens magnify all the flaws to the point you can no longer fathom what attracted you in the first place. Not so with Apocalypse 2.0, an ostensibly progressive metal album by Blind Seer. I knew for a fact this was garbage after exactly nine seconds.” Seer the ear.
Odium – As The World Turns Black Review
“Regardless of their current status as the sad clowns of metal, no one will deny Metallica are among the biggest titans in metal history. Their first four albums are undisputed classics, their fifth a disputed one, and they have inspired countless followers with their chunky take on thrash metal. Among them is German outfit Odium, who have spent the last decade and a half pumping out records in relative anonymity.” Some other kind of monster.
