Record reviews
“Bands enshrouded in mystery have almost become a gimmick, but it’s a gimmick that really works. What we don’t know makes us wonder and look on with morbid curiosity, and as such, I landed myself this obscure number, Envoy.” Noctus loves obscure stuff, so we gave him this gem from the wilds of Russia, where wolves hunt vodka and men drink rocks.
“It was before a long journey that I haphazardly shoved all my new music on to my iPod, paying no regard to the attached one sheets and band biographies. Having never heard their material before, it was without expectation or even awareness of genre that I approached Seven Year Storm’s début EP Aion I.” Road trip music is important. Does the rubber meet the road here?
“I’ll admit that I had to Google what a “wind rose” was whilst writing this review. Coming across as a standard-issue unfortunate but flowery power metal name, and I had awful lines like “kiss from a Wind Rose,” “every Wind Rose has it’s thorn,” and all manner of flatulence puns at the ready.” Bad band names don’t guarantee bad music, but c’mon! Nice font though.
“Given AMG and Steel Druhm’s well-documented love for power metal (Sonata Arctica, Riot, Edguy), it’s difficult to claim high profile names within the genre for review. The reviews I just linked were all within the last eight months, and 2015 alone has already seen well-received releases from Blind Guardian, Angra and Orden Ogan. Aside from demonstrating the corrupt poseurs masquerading as our leaders, this leaves us meager staff writers scraping the bottom of the power metal barrel…” Did El Cuervo just call the Metal Tribunal corrupt? That’s a paddlin’ offense.
“Loud, heavy, dense, raging, lacking any sort of subtlety or nuance – rarely has a band been so aptly named as Primitive Man. Self-releasing their debut to critical acclaim both here and across the metalogosphere, they followed it up with a series of splits before being snapped up by Relapse for their latest outburst of hatred. Their approach has remained pretty consistent across these releases: crank everything up until it feeds back, then hammer out the most repulsive blackened sludge they can conjure.” Better call your local Department of Sludge Control.
“Winter is being a Mr. Cold Miser and evenings like these cry out for a glowing fire, the dark notes of a glass of Malbec and some post-metal meandering gloom which, as luck has it, is Norwegian based Kraków’s claim to fame.” Cold and snow may be new to Madam X, but not post-metal. Or wine!
“They say nine out of ten startup companies fail. Much of this has to do with the venture’s lack of resources and connections; failing to find the know-how and know-who before the money runs out.” As companies race to find investors, you’re tasked with deciding what bands to invest your funds into. Choose…wisely.
“Theodicy bustles with riffs, brutal growls, blastbeats and all of the traditional trappings of brutal death. True, there are moments of mechanical-sounding electronics to split up the songs and provide a quantum of atmosphere, but deep down, Deivos haven’t made Theodicy in an attempt to challenge or revolutionize the genre.” Brootal death that something…but what?
“This was a bear of an album to review. Let me elaborate a bit for clarification… it’s not just because Italy’s Mourning Mist are a new band with precious little background besides having bassist/vocalist Kvasir (also of Profezia and Abhor) in their ranks, as well as a violinist. Hell, violins in metal ain’t nothing new, right?” Not at all, but when will someone incorporate some balalaika?
“Another year, another beginning of a string of releases in metal’s most resilient sub-genre; that’s right folks, it’s Swe-death time! Croatian upstarts Hereza are releasing their debut album Misanthrope, and they’re gunning to Dismember us with their Demonical HM-2-driven Carnage…” We haven’t reviewed any Swedish death in like a week! Phew, here’s some now.
