Angry Metal Guy

Indefensible Positions: Grymm Attacks De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas

By Grymm on April 19, 2014 in Black Metal, Century Media, Indefensible Positions, Norwegian Metal, Black Metal, 34 comments

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively heaps too much praise on a band or record and someone needs to step up and announce that the Emperor has no clothing. We normally don’t spend a lot of time attacking beloved records, but sometimes genuinely overrated records get far too much love from the metal sheeples and that calls for a professional contrarian to set things right! If ever there were professional contrarians, they would be us at AMG.” Grymm decides to kick the sacred cow of Norwegian black metal and stir up a hornets nest of frigid fury. Ask us for his phone number and we just may give it to you.

Triptykon – Melana Chasmata Review

By Noctus on April 18, 2014 in 2014, Black Metal, Century Media, Death Metal, Doom Metal, Reviews, Swiss Metal, Black Metal, Death Metal, Doom Metal, 23 comments

“Tom G. Warrior has had a lot to prove since his blunders in the early 90’s. But it seems metalheads can finally put to rest any doubt that Tom knows what he’s doing, more than anyone, when it comes to punishing and dark recordings. The most startling thing is that even over 30 years into his career, he’s still getting better at it; his hybrid of black, doom, death and thrash metal never more convincing than in his latest effort, Melana Chasmata.” Noctus dons his Tom G. Warrior scarf and t-shirt for a hugely fanboyish salute to the man, the myth, the creator of Triptykon.

Vanhelga – Längtan Review

By Grymm on April 17, 2014 in 2014, Art of Propaganda, Black Metal, Reviews, Swedish Metal, Black Metal, 7 comments

“My childhood was a blur, but I had a rather distinct memory of someone from the First Grade. Remember when you were a kid, if you did something exemplary, your teacher would reward you with a sticker to show for your efforts? There was a kid in my class named Jason (last name escapes me) who won a “You’re the Cat’s MEOW!!!” sticker, complete with purring kitty and stars bedazzling the pre-Comic Sans font in gold letters. After slapping the sticker on his wrist, Jason was dismayed that due to adolescent sweating and kid grubbiness, it wouldn’t stick. Luckily, he had the grand idea that stapling the sticker to the underside of his wrist would be a nice way to permanently show off his rewards. Gleefully, Jason ran around the room, giggling incessantly and displaying the proud reward of his efforts as color drained from his face and blood jizzed from his arm, both at an alarming rate.” Grown up Jason would like this band.

Insomnium – Shadows of the Dying Sun Review

By Steel Druhm on April 16, 2014 in 2014, Century Media, Death Metal, Finnish Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Reviews, Melodic Death Metal, 29 comments

“Over the past decade, Insomnium has been one of, if not the most consistent of the morose Finnish styled melo-death acts in operation. They’ve delivered album after album of “dead puppy under the Christmas tree” flavored music, loaded with gothic trappings and they’ve won the melancholy sweepstakes more often than not. In recent years, fellow countrymen Omnium Gatherum have stolen some of their thunder and lunch money with ripping albums like New World Shadows and Beyond, but the sleepless ones soldiered on regardless, doing what they do best on quality platters like One With Sorrow.” Ready to cry a frozen river? Steel Druhm clearly wasn’t.

Prong – Ruining Lives Review

By Dr. Fisting on April 15, 2014 in 2014, American Metal, Industrial Metal, Releases, Reviews, SPV, SPV Records, 8 comments

“After Prong’s original incarnation crashed and burned in the mid-’90s, bandleader Tommy Victor has been gradually working his way back into the metal world’s good graces. 2003’s “comeback” album Scorpio Rising may have been seriously misguided, but the records that followed made great strides towards restoring Prong’s dignity. 2012’s Carved Into Stone particularly recaptured a lot of the elements that made the band’s breakout album, 1994’s Cleansing, a classic. Perhaps sensing that he’s on the right track, Victor wasted little time in releasing a follow-up, entitled Ruining Lives.” You think Prong is done and over? They beg to differ.

Exorcism – I Am God Review

By Madam X on April 14, 2014 in 2014, 3.5, American Metal, Doom Metal, French Metal, GoldenCore Records, Italian Metal, Reviews, Sludge, ZYX Music, Doom Metal, Sludge, 3 comments

“Super-groups are an odd breed of duck. They either end up a bunch of egos, ball-busting for attention (a fight nobody wins) or they end up something along the lines of Down’s NOLA – chilled out, soaked in beer, raw and dirty and probably totally fucking stoned. This little collective I happened upon most recently via Rock n Growl Promotion, hail from a range of countries including, unsurprisingly, the USA and more surprisingly Spain, Italy and France.” An international doom rock supergroup starring the likes of Joe Stump? Intriguing!

Record(s) o’ the Month – March 2014

By Angry Metal Guy on April 13, 2014 in 2014, Blog Posts, Record o' the Month, 16 comments

Oh shit! Record(s) o’ the Month for March are only running a couple weeks late. You know, when I wrote that post about how this year “might” be a bit of a rough year for music reviewing for Ye Olde Angrye Metale Guye, I wasn’t fucking wrong. It hasn’t been rough. It’s been brutal. I am up to my fucking neck in shit to do, and most of that doesn’t involve “listening to heavy metal” or “telling the Internet why it’s wrong about the new _insert band_ record.” So, be glad that I am even taking the time to deign give you my now extraordinarily expensive, state-funded time. Because, when the Swedish state isn’t paying me to produce research that helps us better understand the world, I should be drinking beer, getting laid, playing video games, or watching sports. But no, here I am writing a Record(s) o’ the Month post for AngryMetalGuy.com. Show me your thanks via Flattr, people. We need to move hosts soon.

And without further ado…

Sonata Arctica – Pariah’s Child Review

By Angry Metal Guy on April 12, 2014 in 2014, Finnish Metal, Nuclear Blast, Power Metal, Progressive Metal, Reviews, Melodic Metal, Power Metal, Progressive Metal, 39 comments

“A strange thing happened somewhere between Sonata Arctica’s 2012 release Stones Grow Her Name and 2014’s Pariah’s Child: Tony Kakko found his wolf shirt and his copy of Ecliptica. Neither of these things were to be expected. Since 2007’s much-maligned Unia, these Finnish masters o’ cheesemetal have been popping out records that are hard to tie back to the band’s original incarnation.” Ain’t nothing as good as record with a great picture of a wolf on it.

Aurvandil – Thrones Review

By Steel Druhm on April 11, 2014 in 2014, Black Metal, Eisenwald Records, French Metal, Reviews, Black Metal, 4 comments

“I don’t review much black metal because I’m pretty tired of the genre and there are more avid and enthusiastic reviewers at AMG who can deal with it properly. However, for unknown reasons, I took quite a shine to Aurvandil’s 2011 opus Yearning and gave it high marks. Now we get Thrones, which was originally released last year as a limited edition cassette, though why anyone would release anything on cassette is beyond my simple mind (why not an 8-track edition or if you really want to be kvlt, go with a phonography cylinder).” In the mood for 50 minutes of low-fi blast beating? Here’s your huckleberry.

Retro-spective Review: Lizzy Borden – Master of Disquise

By Steel Druhm on April 10, 2014 in American Metal, Metal Blade, Retro Reviews, 15 comments

“Lizzy Borden was the charming tyke famous for chopping up her folks with an axe (allegedly). Lizzy Borden the band (and the man) are much less famous, and that’s why I’m casting the attention nets back through time to land their magnum opus for your consideration. As part of the wave of slightly glamy hair metal acts that spewed from L.A. in the 80s, Lizzy and W.A.S.P. were basically cut from the same animal print cloth. They wanted to be metal, but sought to incorporate lots of radio friendly hooks and glam, sleaze n’ trash theatrics.” Ready for a hair metal rock opera? Wait, come back, it’s really good!