2019

Evergrey – The Atlantic Review

Evergrey – The Atlantic Review

Evergrey carved quite the little niche for themselves over the last 20-plus years. Their brand of stripped down depressive progressive metal is never the most flashy or trendy thing in the room, but they’ve always had a certain somber magic that pulls you in and draws you back. They’ve been on a nice roll of late too, with 2014s Hymns for the Broken and 2016s The Storm Within both delivering the sadboy goods with enough meat and weight taters to hit the metal bone just so. The Atlantic is the final chapter in the loose conceptual trilogy started with Hymns, dealing with the confusing ebbs and tides of life as we try to chart a course and keep our head above water.” Come sail away.

Vile Apparition – Depravity Ordained Review

Vile Apparition – Depravity Ordained Review

“Abstract: Many recent investigations in the field of death metal have returned to classical techniques in order to reliably synthesize brutality. In recent years, authors have generated several novel formulations that draw from classic literature to generate new brutalities that fit modern needs but are still as effective as older formulas. Here I report on a recently discovered compound, formulated on a reliable basic structure, which exists at high purity with few residuals. This new product is applicable for research use and will be available in digital databases shortly after the publication of this article, with physical availability expected later in 2019.” SCIENCE!

Swifan Eolh & The Mudra Choir – The Key Review

Swifan Eolh & The Mudra Choir – The Key Review

You know how almost every crappy family TV sitcom has an inevitable flashback episode? The family kids have discovered some contemporary genre of music that Dad doesn’t understand, and it’s causing him to wax nostalgic about his younger days. He regales his children with tales of the halcyon days of the wild 60’s and 70’s, of weed and hippies and free love, and about the time he and his high-school buddies had a prog band; probably called something like “Wizard’s Sleeve” or “Maxwell von Phlogiston and his Marvellous Dragonling Starship.” The Key sounds exactly like what I imagine sitcom Dad’s throwback prog band sounds like.” Dad rock is the best rock.

Wolfhorde – Hounds of Perdition Review

Wolfhorde – Hounds of Perdition Review

“Taking the leap from trolling in the comments section to writing serious reviews made me realize how little I really know about an increasingly complex metal genre. Perhaps this is endemic of an ever more experimental metal scene where genre-spanning efforts are becoming more common and reviewers throw out increasingly long lists of sub-sub-categorizations. Perhaps I’m young and lack the knowledge base of my elders. Perhaps there is just more music around these days. Whatever the case, Wolfhorde have let the dogs out with the genre hopping Hounds of Perdition, but is this sophomore effort about to get Old Yellered by yours truly?” Blackened dogs.

Malevolent Creation – The 13th Beast Review

Malevolent Creation – The 13th Beast Review

“When I was a boy, busy putting my beleaguered vertebrae through a heavy metal crash course in brain surgery, there were a few records that would stay with me forever. On the death metal spectrum, my friends and I loved nothing more than realigning the atoms of our necks to the dulcet tones of Consuming Impulse or Realm of Chaos. Malevolent Creation’s first two albums, The Ten Commandments and Retribution, were also prime influences in our quest for spinal reconfiguration. I even rather enjoy the much-maligned Stillborn, despite its horrendous production. But, of course, this isn’t a retrospective of death metal’s classic era, it’s a review of Malevolent Creation’s newest offering and the first since the untimely passing of frontman Brett Hoffmann.” Altered beasts.

Noctambulist – Atmospheres of Desolation Review

Noctambulist – Atmospheres of Desolation Review

“No, Noctambulist do not sound like Blood Incantation, Sulphur Aeon, Immolation, or Gorguts. Or at least, they don’t sound more like Immolation or Gorguts than Ulcerate do. How the press kit missed Noctambulist’s most prominent and obvious influence—not to mention one of a much higher profile than either of the more modern bands mentioned—might never be known. Did Ulcerate become uncool? I doubt it on the grounds that (1) Noctambulist like them enough to try to sound almost exactly like them, and more importantly, (2) that I, as the sole arbiter of brutality both here and in the universe at large, am the only force with the power to decide if and when Ulcerate could ever become uncool.” Kronos knows.

Contrite Metal Guy – Mistakes Were Made

Contrite Metal Guy – Mistakes Were Made

“The life of the unpaid, overworked metal reviewer is not an easy one. Cascading promos, unreasonable deadlines, draconian editors and the unwashed metal mobs – it makes for a swirling maelstrom of music and madness. In all that tumult, errors are bound to happen and sometimes our initial impression of an album may not be completely accurate. With time and distance comes wisdom, and so we’ve decided to pull back the confessional curtain and reveal our biggest blunders, missteps, oversights and ratings face-plants. Consider this our sincere AMGea culpa. Redemption is retroactive, forgiveness is mandatory.” Bygones begone.

Aver – Orbis Majora Review

Aver – Orbis Majora Review

“There’s something special in the water, air, or spider-venom in Australia. More and more, the Land Down Under is becoming a hotbed for top class progressive metal, and I’m getting to a point where I’ll blindly leap onto anything labeled Aussie prog, even if it has a cover as baffling as Aver’s Orbis Majora. Who thought ‘now all these naked space ladies need is having their arms melted together, getting them stuck to a giant bile-green orb, and replacing their heads with purple planets?'” Orbs of reckoning.