“It is incredible how a couple spawn can transform a lackadaisical lifestyle into one of routine and worry. Everyday apprehension is fueled by medical bills, daycare, diapers, clothing, public school, and Thomas-the-fucking-Tank-Engine. Just ask Al Kikuras; he’ll tell ya.” Maybe we shouldn’t have given Dr. A.N. Grier such a child-unfriendly album.
“A new power metal super group? Oh joy! You know how we love super groups around here. This star studded lineup features vocal powerhouse Ralf Scheepers (Primal Fear, ex-Gamma Ray) and his Primal Fear band mate Aquiles Priester on drums, rounded out by Bjorn Englen (Yngwie Malmsteen, Quiet Riot) on bass and the brutally unheralded Andrew Szucs on guitar.” Guitar-heavy power metal by a mostly unknown crew of power players and we’re supposed to call it a “super group”? Yes we are.
“The first long length from Gothenburg doomsters Monolord, last year’s Empress Rising, enjoyed a surprising level of success and acclaim, the likes of which is usually the result of a combination of solid, but not great music and circumstances which fall under the banner of “hype.” Releasing a second album just a year later and following such a highly esteemed record made more likely the possibility of the enthusiasm bubble bursting. Vænir (named after Sweden’s largest lake) could have easily turned out a dud.” Hype, drama, doom – it’s all here, folks.
“Raven is somewhat of a metallic riddle. Having been around since 1974 and considered one of the banner bearers of the NWoBHM invasion of the early 80s, as well as a major influence on the thrash genre, they never gained as much traction as one would expect. Like Anvil and Krokus, they seemed poised on the precipice of greatness, but a combination of bad timing, poor decisions and the fickle mistress that is metal fandom conspired to bring them low and deny them their due.” But they’re still here, and they can still metal. Can you say the same?
“Listening to Seagrave begets the age-old question: is it better to try something new and fall short, or rehash the same bullshit until we’re all shitting bowls of Iommi riffs and bleeding ‘retro-death metal’ CDs from every orifice?” If your orifices bleed retro-death for more than 4 hours, consult a physician.
“Ereb Altor, the other project by the men behind Isole, are back to wage the next phase of the battle for my favoritism. I enjoy both acts and it seems with each new release my loyalty shifts, with Isole’s recent The Calm Hunter putting me back in their camp, at least temporarily. Is it moving day again? I feel so temporary.
“Mystic is a curious beast indeed, fusing prog-power with a spacey feel and Eastern-influenced, Oriental (for lack of a better word) synths. Citing inspiration from Ritchie Blackmore and his awesome work on Rainbow’s Rising in their pursuit of Eastern influences, Elderoth foolishly stacked the odds against themselves. Can you possibly believe the hype?” Blackmore laughs at you from his mountain.
“Now here’s a cannibal of a different color. Some may be aware of the Death To All tours that happened over the last few years, but for the unfamiliar, Death to All is a cover act paying homage to Death and the late, great Chuck Schuldiner by running through the greatest hits of the seminal band’s discography live. From that loving tribute tour, a loving side project was spawned. Savage Land is a new kind of tribute to Death, written to be an an album slotted between Leprosy and Spiritual Healing in the Death discography.” No individual thought patterns here, but hey, they’re only human.
“I felt some remorse back in 2013 that I didn’t make more effort to review Apocalyptica’s Wagnerian tribute (Wagner Reloaded), an album that’s seen me through many long flights between South Africa and New York. Along comes Shadowmaker, Apocalyptica now have a dedicated vocalist as Franky Perez (ex-Scars on Broadway) takes his spot in the limelight and I get a chance to make right.” These guys lasted way longer than you expected, didn’t they?
“Hi, I’m Diabolus in Muzaka. You’ve probably read some of my musings on metal music in this space. I come to you today not just as a reviewer, but as a man who has been affected second-hand by appliance violence. Laugh at the cover or concept here all you like, but having witnessed a close friend’s assault by an appliance gone rogue, I see Killer Refrigerator as selfless visionaries using metal to bring us this message of our pending appliance-driven annihilation.” Honey, that appliance just called me an asshole!
