Nov18

Master – Vindictive Miscreant Review

Master – Vindictive Miscreant Review

“Take a minute to appreciate this album artwork. Not only is it an excellent demonstration of basic design principles, composition and color theory, it also clearly establishes the genre of its artist. In this case, the artist is Master and the genre is death/thrash. Master have been active since 1983 with minimal interruptions and a long roster of ex-drummers and ex-guitarists. Having finally settled on a solid lineup in 2003, Master soldiered on with few changes made to their thrashy death sound. With fourteenth installment Vindictive Miscreant, Master aim to prove they’re just as vital as they were in 1983.” Who’s your Master?

Obliteration – Cenotaph Obscure Review

Obliteration – Cenotaph Obscure Review

Obliteration hail from Norway and boast an esteemed pedigree, garnering loads of underground cred and respect. Unfortunately I hadn’t heard of the band until recently and still have much catching up to do. But after listening to 2013’s Black Death Horizon I was impressed with their style. And with a name like Obliteration I expect some goddamn punishing, murky, blood and pus filled death. And in this regard, Obliteration certainly don’t disappoint.” Blood and pus for all.

Old Man Lizard – True Misery Review

Old Man Lizard – True Misery Review

“If you’ve been following the Chronicles of N00b, you may remember that the last time I was let out of confinement, it was for a forced march through a symphonic winter wonderland. This, after specific requests to review my preferred genre of doom, nearly broke me (no doubt the point). But for my fifth review, I’ve been thrown a bone. Not only do England’s Old Man Lizard play doom, they play the stoner strain: ur-doom that can trace its origin to the moment Sir Lord Baltimore and Black Sabbath crawled out of the primordial ooze after the mantle cooled on Planet Caravan Metal.” Feel the scales.

Gorycz – Piach Review

Gorycz – Piach Review

“There are certain things that will always warm a music reviewer’s cold, dead heart. Poland’s Gorycz, for example, made a good impression on me immediately, as I opened the promo to an actual lyric sheet. Granted, that wasn’t much help with reviewing their debut, Piach, as my knowledge of Polish goes only a little further than “kurwa,” but it’s the thought that counts. The band choosing to write in their mother tongue was, in fact, only another point in their favor for a multiculturalism-loving cuck like myself.” First impressions matter.

Chapel of Disease – And as We Have Seen the Storm, We Have Embraced the Eye Review

Chapel of Disease – And as We Have Seen the Storm, We Have Embraced the Eye Review

“There’s a constant glut of death metal on the market coming in all shapes and sizes. Chapel of Disease’s particular brand of death metal has been well and truly re-branded. Once paying homage to the old school tones of the late 80s and early 90s, Chapel of Disease have now re-painted the death metal machine with tones straight from the 70s.” The Chapel of Retro smells of dead music categories.

Vanishing Kids – Heavy Dreamer Review

Vanishing Kids – Heavy Dreamer Review

“In the high pressure game of Promo Sump Bingo, sometimes you win big. Vanishing Kids, an act wholly unknown to me, lists themselves as “somnambulic doom,” and that sounded interesting enough to snatch from the murky waters and scurry away with to my Ape Cave of Solitude. The thing is, they’re not really doom at all. In fact, they’re one of those rare bands that openly defies easy classification.” Don’t think, just listen.

Vane – Black Vengeance Review

Vane – Black Vengeance Review

“If you’re anything like me, you often find yourself pondering the great questions of the universe. For instance, like me you’ve probably wondered what would happen if Lamb of God and Kataklysm made sweet love while Alestorm sat in the corner reading them a bedtime story. Unlike most of the big questions plaguing humanity, we no longer have to speculate on this one. Polish band Vane love drama on the high seas, and on their debut album Black Vengeance, they throw their three-pointed hat into the hotly contested ring of pirate metal. Is this going to be worth the pay-per-view fee?” Hoist the N00bs and batten down the skull pit!

Groza – Unified in Void Review

Groza – Unified in Void Review

“I picked Groza from the promo bin for one simple reason: Mgla is a great fucking band, and Groza share their name with Mgla’s debut album. That’s not by accident, either. The promo blurb that accompanied Unified in Void was frank in its admission of Mgla influence, leaving me quite excited to hear what this German quartet had to offer.” Choose the form of the Destroyer.

Letheria – Death – Principle Review

Letheria – Death – Principle Review

“While I’ve cherry-picked a handful of straight-up death metal albums that I enjoy over the years, the genre as a whole rarely clicks with me. Whether it’s due to the fact that I have what my mother calls a ‘tender spirit’ (read: I’m a wimp) or the fact that I have a real life job that routinely exposes me to the horrors that can be inflicted upon the human body, the old school death metal lyrical and visual aesthetic has never really appealed to me. Thus, I was nervous to receive a promo that reveals that if the band had a smell, ‘it would reek of gasoline, urine, and blood.’ Ew.” A new taste sensation.

The Disaster Area – Alpha // Omega Review

The Disaster Area – Alpha // Omega Review

“More cold, more -core. The chillier days and drearier weather settling in motivated my selection of this week’s review as I desired something which would hopefully boast catchy melodies and easy head-banging to compel a spring in my step on my morning commute. Germany’s metalcore troupe The Disaster Area stepped up to the plate with their innovatively-entitled sophomore full-length Alpha // Omega (A/O). Moreover, their one-sheet suggested that the record may ‘show [the listener] a way back into the light.'” Rainy days and core get us down.