“Imagine my surprise when, upon taking this gig, I discovered that some of my fellow writers, including our illustrious boss, were never-sludgers. As I’ve endured their hurtful, anti-sludge rhetoric, I’ve noticed a frequent correlation between sludge hating and symphonic power cheese-loving. As no lover of metallic brie myself, I’m left to wonder if we’re hardwired at the genetic level into these camps just as research suggests we may be similarly inclined toward progressive or conservative politics, or to see a blue and black dress versus the mouth breathing, evolutionary dead-ends who see a gold and white dress. I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re team sludge and wary of anti-sludge sentiment within the body metallic, you’ve got a man on the inside. So let’s wade together into the muck of Charlene Beretah’s new album Ram. Never-sludgers need not apply.” Sticky business.
Nov19
Necropanther – The Doomed City Review
“Fans of Eyes of Blue Light, the sophomore masterpiece from Denver, Colorado’s Necropanther, take heed: The Doomed City is not the record you are expecting.” Much Panther.
Serpens Luminis – Bright Euphoria Review
“Random grabs and promo scarcity are fickle and cruel, that’s how. This time fate handed me Serpens Luminis’ debut Bright Euphoria, which is miles removed from my nearest musical comfort zones. Indeed, its very goal seems to be discomfort. The Swiss band mixes post-metal flow of consciousness with the pummeling blasts of death metal and the icy desperation of dissonant black metal, and filter it through the ramblings of a raving madman. If this description reminds you of Deathspell Omega, you’d be right on the money.” Snakes and deathspells.
Hideous Divinity – Simulacrum Review
“Simulacrum forges even further ahead with myriad permutations of an already mutated theme. The angelic atrocity that inhabits the front of Adveniens now appears mottled and in tormented flux as it attempts to assume a new form. The result is ugly and twisted but, for better or worse, remains affixed to the foundation from which it first drew such terrible life. The message couldn’t be clearer: some pain will last.” Agony as ecstasy.
Bölzer – Lese Majesty Review
“I kept the faith that Bölzer were able to deliver a knockout blow leading up to their 2016 debut LP, Hero. Unfortunately, the album left me feeling indifferent and frustrated due to inconsistent writing and questionable vocal choices, leaving scattered traces of brilliance hidden amidst the wreckage. Finally, Bölzer return on their own label and ready to unleash their sophomore LP, Lese Majesty. With increasingly diminishing returns defining their career thus far, can the dynamic duo reclaim the glory and shoot for the stars this time around?” More or Lese?
Via Vengeance – Diestractions from the Truth Review
“He’s a happy dude that makes everyone around him happy. Case in point: at a Neurosis show in Phoenix, I became so enamored with opening act Amenra that nothing existed around me but dark, depressive death. Then I felt the nudge and looked over at the smiling face of Mr. Ocell. One second, I wanted to die. The next, I wanted to give the little guy a noogie. But how can a guy as happy as Shane write music as dark and heavy as that of Via Vengeance? I haven’t a clue, but that’s what he does.” Beware the smiling man.
PH – Osiris Hayden Review
“This time around, PH are aiming for something “beyond the limits of modern psychedelia,” something that pulls influence from Gary Numan and Nine Inch Nails. And one of my psychedelic favorites from the past, Julian Cope, fully endorses these guys. This all makes me at least willing to dig in.” Needs more alkaline.
Crusade of Bards – Tales of Bards and Beasts Review
“Hello, my name is Twelve. I am an addict. I use symphonic metal and Nightwish. I…wait a second. I’m not Twelve! Silly me. But I too enjoy symphonic metal a whole lot, perhaps too much. Even at its cheesiest it makes me unreasonably happy to listen as richly layered orchestrations mesh with distorted guitars and galloping double-bass kits. I especially love it when, like on the incredible Imaginaerum, the band is able to afford recording with a full-blown orchestra and choir—or at least when part of the symphonics come from actual instruments instead of digitally reconstructed simulations. It is this last feature that drew Spanish sextet Crusade of Bards to my attention.” Symphonomania.
Constellatia – The Language of Limbs Review
“Formed in Cape Town just over a year ago, Constellatia is the collaborative brainchild of Gideon Lamprecht and Keenan Oakes, founders of South African bands Crow Black Sky and Wildernessking, respectively. After a mere fourteen months together, Constellatia is ready to release The Language of Limbs, their debut album.” Language lessons.
(DOLCH) – Feuer Review
“(DOLCH) are a mysterious duo from Germany who are known for their anonymity and their ability to blend DSBM with Gothic rock, and are often compared to Dead Can Dance. So, if you want some DSBM to go with your BDSM, have at it. And now, they’ve dropped their full-length debut, Feuer, upon the masses.” DSBM = BDSM = DONT.