Record reviews
“In the green-binary star system of Xoth, the deity Idh-yaa got all down and dirty with Cthulhu to create his slutty star-spawn. In a similar fashion, the band Xoth have got all down and dirty with all the blackened sub-genres of the metal-sphere, spawning a debut album that reaches far beyond the stars.” Star Lust, that fabulous STAR Lust….
“Personally speaking, it’s been a tough few months at Castle Beuller. But, man is not made for defeat and when looking for a little slice of escapism, I often find myself turning to the loving embrace of some old-school death metal. It’s not progressive — it’s downright sticks and stones. But, if it can deliver the tone and supply the riffs, then sometimes I find myself transported back to those days when first discovering this music.” Drowning in the muck of olde.
“The mainstream view of metal is that it’s either scary or ridiculous. Which, I suppose, makes us all a bunch of clowns, both in how society views us and in our low-key terrorization of the collective subconscious. But you have to admit that a lot of metal really is a bit idiotic, with grown men playing Viking metal, stringing together the foulest descriptions of gore, or, in the case of power metal, screaming about flaming dragons in the skies.” Those dragons are en fuego!
“Commercialized metal is one of the strangest and most unnatural phenomena our beloved genre has gone through. I’m not talking about metal that happened to get mainstream recognition, by the way. Even Metallica, with the most lucrative metal act in history, started off as a thrash metal band like any other and only gained widespread fame after 5 albums. I’m talking about bands that seem to have been created or molded precisely to sell metal to the masses, like Amaranthe or Sonic Syndicate.” The vogue of metal.
“Look at the band name and observe the logo. Ponder the album art and take in the scene. Glance at the album title and chew over the tone. Undress the track descriptions and raise an eyebrow. Observe the musician’s photos and nod knowingly. Glare at the record label and chuckle darkly. By now you’ve built an impression of a band that in all likelihood conjures up death metal overflowing with pulpy horror references and a choleric disposition.” Taste the crypt.
“In honor of our esteemed Dr. A.N. Grier’s misplaced love for baseball (and the fact that the season has finally come to a merciful conclusion), I present a baseball analogy for Crippled Black Phoenix. CBP are like big-league sluggers: most of the time they strike out, but every few games they wallop one into the second deck of left field.” Swiiiiing, batter.
“In an effort to avoid consistency devolving into redundancy, Vader have opted to galvanize The Empire with the ever-present thrash that propels their classic sound. The results are a lot of fun. I love Vader, so if you’re at all interested in following me awkwardly avoid blathering on about how great they are, and actually offer objectivity, then read on. Careful, don’t trip on the hyperbole.” Objectivity is for posers.
“It seems like all the greatest adventures begin with a phone call. This particular call came about a month ago. The gentleman on the line was one of my brothers. Brother Grier had called to inform me he had purchased tickets to Southwest Terror Fest in Tucson, Arizona. His plane ticket was purchased, the hotel reservation was set, and I had no choice but to join him (he had apparently bought me tickets too).”Tales of brotherhood, beers and grind.
“when I receive a promo for a band (in this case, Italy’s Hierophant), and the one-sheet that accompanies their fourth album, Mass Graves, states rather emphatically, “No pink unicorns here,” and they still don’t supply us with a promo pic? Prepare for battle, son.” Doom death in the Age of Pink.
“I’m not alone among the AMG staff in having fallen hard for The Gathering’s career defining Mandylion release back in 95. That platter combined elements of doom and goth rock in a way that had never been done before and created something haunting, sad and achingly beautiful. The band quickly drifted toward more commercial waters, and many (myself included) were left hungering for more of what Mandylion delivered. Perhaps that’s why my ears pricked up when I heard a snippet of the Older Terrors promo from hitherto unknown by me English three-piece, Esben and the Witch.” Oh, Mandy, you came and you found me an Esben….
