Record reviews
“NWOBHM legends Satan are one of the greatest comeback stories in recent memory. Formed in the UK in 1979, the band’s early work was part of the blueprint for what became thrash and speed metal. However, Satan themselves had a rough career, plagued by lineup issues and multiple name changes, resulting in nearly two decades of non-activity.” Court is now back in session.
“Sometimes I forget what Children of Bodom used to sound like. While they retain some of the elements from Something Wild and Hatebreeder, these Finns have almost entirely abandoned that cold-blooded power metal title.” Ready for another deathroll with your hate crew? What the hell does that even mean?
“There’s precious little information to be found about Twin Lords anywhere, and Shift is the New York duo’s debut album after a 2012 demo. Furthermore, the music itself offers no easy points of comparison. I’ve seen them tagged as everything from “progressive” to “sludge” to “powerviolence,” and having listened to the album myself numerous times, I’m still not sure what I’d classify Twin Lords as.” How can we do our job if we can’t pigeonhole into neat little boxes?
“Cheesesteaks are a big deal in Philly and as I understand it, there’s a ‘right way’ to go about ordering them. Firstly, you place your order for said cheesesteak with the cashier. Secondly you make your cheese selection and lastly you opt for or against the fried onions. The key and most crucial step though, is PLACE YOUR ORDER CONCISELY. Philly’s Die Choking approach their hypergrind in the same way – concisely.” Ready for 14 minutes of choking?
“Longtime readers will recall that Kronos does not like Deafheaven. I suspect nobody does, since I see copies of Sunbather in every record shop I enter, meaning that despite the hype, that vinyl is not getting to consumers. And while I’ll continuously bash the band for being, as it has been said, “The Cure with blastbeats,” on some level I have respect for them trying something different, since Satan himself got fed up with Emperor-worship a decade ago. Is the staff of AMG wired into all the ironic mini-trends of the metal world? Is the Pope wearing a Mayhem shirt?
“With none but Woodfall’s Raphael Weinroth-Browne on cello and Heather Sita Black singing, The Visit’s debut album, Through Darkness Into Light, seems an unlikely candidate for Angry Metal Guy. Classical chamber music is stylistically about as far as one can venture from bombastic metal sub-genres such as power.” Prepare to get some class in your crude lives, you philistines.
“I have a penchant for picking bands based on their names alone lately. For the most part, doing so has yielded some pretty damn good results. So when the Grymm Grab Bag™ belched forth The Camel, The Lion, The Child, the debut full-length from Seattle’s He Whose Ox Is Gored, you can say that I was a bit nervous. Long band name? Check. Nietzsche-inspired album title? Check. The sound labeled as “progressive doom”? Check.” Progressive doom is progressive… and doomy.
“While other bands focus on heavy hits and constant pummeling, Gorod have made themselves the Muhammad Ali of death metal: light on their feet and surgically precise, and incredibly fun to bear witness to.” But will this be a Thrilla in Manilla or fall flat on its face? Anything can happen in a fight.” Kronos vs. Tech-death. FIGHT!
“As far as metal goes, Finland is renowned for producing some of the most morose, depressing bands to ever drag themselves out of bed and into a recording studio (Children of Bodom notwithstanding). Among their ranks is the heavy and atmospheric Hanging Garden.” Sad boys are often sad.
“Well, kids, let this be a lesson to you all. Dropping clickbait jokes and fucking too much with the AMG HR department results in the dropping of various hammers. In my case, punishments manifested themselves in the form of name-calling (Steel called me a “Master Baiter”) and a metalcore promo for review.” The core will flow until you praise our new logo.
