“I need to get this out of the way immediately: this is not really Kronos‘ kind of record. You see “Progressive Metal” marked on a promo and you never quite know what you’re in for. Usually, it’s Dream Theater worship or worse, djent, but sometimes it’s actually good. In the case of Auditory Armory, it’s an odd mix of mid-paced power/prog/death riffing and sultry female vocals. What’s one to do? Well, review it.” Prog is like a box of chocolates.
“There’s album artwork and then there’s album artwork. The latter is the kind that speaks to you the moment you pick it up. It’s the kind that—in conjunction with the album title—conveys every hidden detail beyond its glossy surface. Beyond the praying hands to my left—forced together in the most submissive way—is post-Vitek Decapitated. A band I’ve had a hard time understanding since Vitek passed in 2007.” Decapitation, love and understanding.
“Despite what the band and album name may conjure up, Salt and Rot by God Root is not the latest word in primal vegan cuisine. What we have instead is the second release from the Pennsylvanian quintet, a sludgy, post-metal mediation that sings of soil and sky and man’s connection to both.” Have we finally reached post-Neurosis?
“Melancholy: a feeling of pensive sadness. Synonyms: desolation, woe, sorrow. The word, from its Latin and Greek origins, translates to black bile: too much of which in a person could cause depression. It’s a loaded word, that’s for certain, and it gets thrown around and attached to music cheaply and without much care. Too many words of melancholy’s ilk are over-used; too much hyperbole, drama and imaginative nonsense is bestowed upon average and uninspiring music (I’m also responsible for this sort of thing) and thus certain words, phrases, and images have lost their power completely.” Sad boys be sad.
“Stahlmann are the new decade’s flag-bearers for Neu Deutsche Härte (NDH); a genre hailing from Germany in the 90s, featuring groove, industrial, and electronic influences, and popularized by the likes of Rammstein and Oomph!. While they’re both still active, Stahlmann deemed these big names needed support and so their first record was released in 2010. Bastard is now their fourth and I’m forced to consider its title. Is it a puerile scream against a shitty world or the unwanted child which they’ll ditch upon its release?” Illegitimate.
“Ginger Wildheart has had an interesting career. Achieving mild commercial success with the pop/rock band The Wildhearts, he’s expanded his repertoire to include “power pop” (Hey! Hello!), folk music (,b>Ghost in the Tanglewood) and latterly a noise rock and metal project (Mutation).” Jack of all trades, Wildheart of some.
“How do you feel about keyboards? Do you like ’em gloomy and atmospheric? Synthy and cheesy? Perhaps the classic piano flavor does it for you. Whatever your tastes, X.Kernel have got you covered. Their debut Face the Truth follows eight long years of melodic rumination and, if the album art can be believed, enough Phoenix Wright to cause nightmares.” Keys to the kingdom.
“Before we begin, let’s take a moment and admire the cover art to your left, shall we? Here we have Steel Druhm and a fellow soldier buddy, waging intergalactic war against alien things while the logo for Cleveland’s Contra may or may not cause Konami’s lawyers to give them a phone call quicker than one can shout, “Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start.”” Ape escape and stoner grapes.
“How about a group of Danes playing a core influenced brand of djent that flails at Meshuggah on the verses and Fear Factory on the choruses?” Djent you hear?
“Holy shit, Black Messiah. This is one of those little bands that I found in the mid-00’s while first delving into the metal underground that, though kinda cool in their unorthodox approach, I inevitably forgot about in the wash of better bands. Yet I instantly remembered these Germans once I saw their seventh album Walls of Vanaheim in the promo bay, their blend of epic folk metal, pagan black metal and power metal rushing back in a wave of nostalgia and phantom headaches triggered by memories of awful production. I snagged it without hesitation for old times’ sake, and sure enough, this was the same Black Messiah I had listened to casually in my teenage years, warts and all.” Viking roars and pagan warts.
